Three Things, Christmas Edition.
Since I totally failed at writing a timely Christmassy blog, I will do it now.
I was going to add my New Years Edition as well, but after finishing the Christmas portion, I figured you will have had enough out of me for one day. So here it is.
Three Things I Loved About Christmas (And One I Did Not.)
1. CIT* Reunion Party.
I don't know what it was about those three weeks in 2006 that linked us together, but I will always have a special place in my heart for that group of people. And even though it wasn't quite the same as our 2006 Christmas reunion, it was good for my heart and I loved every minute of it. I miss Sarah's outrageous rants and apparently ninja-like fashion, the word "shladies" which was so lovingly brought back from obscurity by Michael Gold, and reliving our camp experiences one by one. Everyone has their individual quirks, and it's awesome.
Okay. Sorry about that for those who have no idea who those people are.
*CIT- Counselor In Training*
2. The Return of Guitar Hero.
I fancy myself a pretty mean shredder on guitar hero, but my brother took his XBox back from me after he moved into his apartment, so I was left guitar hero-less this semester while my skills waned daily.
But with the release of Guitar Hero 5 and Band Hero, which was my brother's girlfriend's Christmas present, the color coded frets returned to my life and I was able to rock out again. And by that I mean stare at the tv looking concerned, because if I rock out too hard, I start missing notes.
3. Mandolin.
My loving boyfriend got me a mandolin for Christmas, which may seem random to you, but I always contend that the sound of a mandolin can instantly make you feel better about life.
So right now I can play about 6 chords (knowing how to play guitar helps) and the intro to the REM classic, "Losing My Religion," which features a mandolin.
So...there's that.
Oh, and the One Thing I Didn't:
1. Helen and Ferris collectively ruining Christmas.
Who are Helen and Ferris, you ask? Only the two people responsible for us NOT hearing annually-worse a cappella rendition of O Come O Come Emmanuel sung by Helen, our music director, at my family's church's Christmas Eve Service. Now, this song usually opens the service and we look forward to it every year. Not for its sonic appeal, but for the sake of tradition...and because it's usually pretty bad.
This year, even though it was listed in the program, Ferris (our pastor--also a woman--I can't make this stuff up) marched herself up to the pulpit and just started welcomin' away without giving Helen a chance to sing.
Now, Helen, appearing to have forgotten her starring role, sat herself down in the choir loft, oblivious to the fact that there are fans in the audience whose Christmas joy hinges on her very solo [read: us].
...And Christmas was ruined.
After a song or two, a flustered Helen mentioned that she "forgot" to sing O Come O Come Emmanuel. But did she rectify the situation? No. She simply continued with the hymn and ignored her Christmas duty to society.
So there you have it, folks. My Christmassy Blog.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
0069.
Three Things I Learned From My High School English Teacher, Mr. Freeman:
1. Paper Length: "Like a girl's skirt: long enough to cover everything, but short enough to keep it interesting."
I like this guideline, and I think more college professors would do well to fall in line. Page requirements are silly and lead to a lot of B.S. on the last page or so, and who needs that?
2. The Proper Working Definition of an Allegory: "A tale in verse or prose in which the characters, actions, settings, or events represent abstract ideas or moral qualities."
I don't know how this will help me in life. But it fits the category. Maybe one day I will be on the sidelines of a fierce sword fight filled with witty banter [see: The Princess Bride], and one will challenge the other: I will spare your life if you answer me this--what is the proper working definition of an allegory? And I will feel it coming--my moment. As the man blocks a hit from the incoming sword and fights to push it away, he exclaims in anguish, "DOES ANYONE KNOW THE PROPER WORKING DEFINITION OF AN ALLEGORY?"
And I, calm and confident, will step forward as everyone stares & gasps and say, "I do, dear sir. I do."
Or maybe it will just never help me in life.
3. Denim dockers are not the same as jeans.
One day, as a result of one of our classmates unknowingly falling into a trap of colleague vs. colleague, he pointed out, in jest, that Mr. Freeman was wearing "jeans," which, at ole' Springwood, was a no-no. This was all in good fun until three weeks later when we got a 5 page paper detailing what the word "jeans" entails, and that Denim Dockers were no such item. We had never been so afraid in our lives.
So there you have it. One more installment of "Three Things..."
Maybe I'll do a Christmassy one next. I like this. It gives me focus. :)
1. Paper Length: "Like a girl's skirt: long enough to cover everything, but short enough to keep it interesting."
I like this guideline, and I think more college professors would do well to fall in line. Page requirements are silly and lead to a lot of B.S. on the last page or so, and who needs that?
2. The Proper Working Definition of an Allegory: "A tale in verse or prose in which the characters, actions, settings, or events represent abstract ideas or moral qualities."
I don't know how this will help me in life. But it fits the category. Maybe one day I will be on the sidelines of a fierce sword fight filled with witty banter [see: The Princess Bride], and one will challenge the other: I will spare your life if you answer me this--what is the proper working definition of an allegory? And I will feel it coming--my moment. As the man blocks a hit from the incoming sword and fights to push it away, he exclaims in anguish, "DOES ANYONE KNOW THE PROPER WORKING DEFINITION OF AN ALLEGORY?"
And I, calm and confident, will step forward as everyone stares & gasps and say, "I do, dear sir. I do."
Or maybe it will just never help me in life.
3. Denim dockers are not the same as jeans.
One day, as a result of one of our classmates unknowingly falling into a trap of colleague vs. colleague, he pointed out, in jest, that Mr. Freeman was wearing "jeans," which, at ole' Springwood, was a no-no. This was all in good fun until three weeks later when we got a 5 page paper detailing what the word "jeans" entails, and that Denim Dockers were no such item. We had never been so afraid in our lives.
So there you have it. One more installment of "Three Things..."
Maybe I'll do a Christmassy one next. I like this. It gives me focus. :)
Monday, December 21, 2009
0068.
Chreeees-masss. [yay.]
Day 4 in the Valley.
Haven't actually found myself to be bored yet...so that's a plus.
Hm. I need an idea to get my blog started again. Maybe I'll start a little series. It'll be called "3 Things..."
Today's episode will be 3 Things I Fought to Resist but Caved in the End:
1. Twitter.
Yes, I was one of those people who fought with every fiber of her being to resist the Twitter craze. It didn't help that my boyfriend had it and used it constantly. I didn't see the point and didn't have anything to say, which is probably the argument most people without Twitter make. However, the more Craig was like, "hey--Dave Barnes was like, [insert funny thing here]" or "Look at what John Mayer just said..." I realized I, too, wanted to enjoy reading celebrities' witty remarks and see pictures from their everyday life. So I caved, and the rest is history. I would like to say that I am more of a reader than a poster. I don't have anything hilarious or thought-provoking to say, but hey, now I know when Derek Webb would like a remote control that looks like a wand or when Phil Wickham has left two tickets at the box office under the names "Princess Leia" and "Obi Wan."
2. A Northface Fleece Jacket.
Every girl in my high school had one in varying colors. I didn't want to be part of the trend, of course, so I resisted. But then I realized I needed a lightweight jacket that was acceptable to wear with almost everything, so my sophomore year in college, I caved. I still wear it all the time, so I guess it was a good investment. And half the student body at Belmont are too trendy for North Face anyway, so I didn't feel so bad.
3. The Jonas Brothers
Okay, they may not be the most talented group of brothers to ever break into mainstream music [see: Hanson], but when "Burnin' Up" hit the top of the charts, I had to own that song. It's quite possibly one of the catchiest songs ever written, not to mention well produced. Not that they produce their own albums, but they've got Disney backing them so they can get the best producers in the business. But I digress.
After "Burnin' Up" came their 4th album, "Lines, Vines, and Trying Times." This album converted me. No, the album is not filled with musical genius, but it IS filled with an opening track that makes the part of your heart designated for pop goodness explode ["World War 3"] and 12 more delightful tunes, many of them surprisingly featuring a horn section that adds a lot.
Anyways...
There are three things I fought to resist but couldn't. Stay tuned for more "3 Things.." episodes.
Day 4 in the Valley.
Haven't actually found myself to be bored yet...so that's a plus.
Hm. I need an idea to get my blog started again. Maybe I'll start a little series. It'll be called "3 Things..."
Today's episode will be 3 Things I Fought to Resist but Caved in the End:
1. Twitter.
Yes, I was one of those people who fought with every fiber of her being to resist the Twitter craze. It didn't help that my boyfriend had it and used it constantly. I didn't see the point and didn't have anything to say, which is probably the argument most people without Twitter make. However, the more Craig was like, "hey--Dave Barnes was like, [insert funny thing here]" or "Look at what John Mayer just said..." I realized I, too, wanted to enjoy reading celebrities' witty remarks and see pictures from their everyday life. So I caved, and the rest is history. I would like to say that I am more of a reader than a poster. I don't have anything hilarious or thought-provoking to say, but hey, now I know when Derek Webb would like a remote control that looks like a wand or when Phil Wickham has left two tickets at the box office under the names "Princess Leia" and "Obi Wan."
2. A Northface Fleece Jacket.
Every girl in my high school had one in varying colors. I didn't want to be part of the trend, of course, so I resisted. But then I realized I needed a lightweight jacket that was acceptable to wear with almost everything, so my sophomore year in college, I caved. I still wear it all the time, so I guess it was a good investment. And half the student body at Belmont are too trendy for North Face anyway, so I didn't feel so bad.
3. The Jonas Brothers
Okay, they may not be the most talented group of brothers to ever break into mainstream music [see: Hanson], but when "Burnin' Up" hit the top of the charts, I had to own that song. It's quite possibly one of the catchiest songs ever written, not to mention well produced. Not that they produce their own albums, but they've got Disney backing them so they can get the best producers in the business. But I digress.
After "Burnin' Up" came their 4th album, "Lines, Vines, and Trying Times." This album converted me. No, the album is not filled with musical genius, but it IS filled with an opening track that makes the part of your heart designated for pop goodness explode ["World War 3"] and 12 more delightful tunes, many of them surprisingly featuring a horn section that adds a lot.
Anyways...
There are three things I fought to resist but couldn't. Stay tuned for more "3 Things.." episodes.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
0067.
I feel like creating but I am instead forced to study.
I think my next post will be a story. I haven't blogged in a while. I'm losing touch with my blog, I guess. But don't worry, I still keep regular journals so that when my time comes they can be compiled as an autobiography. Spoiler Alert: the high school years will be the most intriguing.
Apparently I am good at this writing thing. I mean, I always kind of thought I was, but it's nice to actually put it to good use and have someone appreciate it. I should have changed my major a long time ago.
So after tomorrow I only have one semester left in college.
I feel like four years of high school went by a lot slower. But then again, I was a teenager oppressed by her parents, attending a nuthouse of a school, and pining for a boy, so everything was more dramatic. :-)
Freshman year feels so far away. It's almost like I dreamed it. It was just one awkward encounter after another in a new city that didn't feel like home. But I made a small handful of friends--and I do mean small--and I'm so glad they've stayed in my life.
I still miss high school sometimes, but I'm happy where I am.
Semester Recap:
-went to my first Preds game
-wrote my first press release
-got a story published in Belmont's newspaper which may not be the best publication in circulation but i'm still proud
-have the best roommates ever
-learned a LOT about relationships
-I don't hate my classes nearly as much because I'm actually doing something I'm good at/don't hate
-walked a mile barefoot with Hanson
-got baptized
-learned to appreciate Lady GaGa
-got a paid internship for next semester
over all, i'd say it was a win.
I think my next post will be a story. I haven't blogged in a while. I'm losing touch with my blog, I guess. But don't worry, I still keep regular journals so that when my time comes they can be compiled as an autobiography. Spoiler Alert: the high school years will be the most intriguing.
Apparently I am good at this writing thing. I mean, I always kind of thought I was, but it's nice to actually put it to good use and have someone appreciate it. I should have changed my major a long time ago.
So after tomorrow I only have one semester left in college.
I feel like four years of high school went by a lot slower. But then again, I was a teenager oppressed by her parents, attending a nuthouse of a school, and pining for a boy, so everything was more dramatic. :-)
Freshman year feels so far away. It's almost like I dreamed it. It was just one awkward encounter after another in a new city that didn't feel like home. But I made a small handful of friends--and I do mean small--and I'm so glad they've stayed in my life.
I still miss high school sometimes, but I'm happy where I am.
Semester Recap:
-went to my first Preds game
-wrote my first press release
-got a story published in Belmont's newspaper which may not be the best publication in circulation but i'm still proud
-have the best roommates ever
-learned a LOT about relationships
-I don't hate my classes nearly as much because I'm actually doing something I'm good at/don't hate
-walked a mile barefoot with Hanson
-got baptized
-learned to appreciate Lady GaGa
-got a paid internship for next semester
over all, i'd say it was a win.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
0066.
Watched a movie in my Media Ethics class today, which, by the way, is the most pointless waste of time, filled with girls' half-baked arguments about why one person shouldn't be helped if everyone can't be helped...
..but I digress.
The video was about advertising and how the leading advertisers try to tap into our inner desire to be a part of something. Anything, really. It was interesting because they researched what makes people want to join cults, and applied that to advertising.
One of the main points was fulfilling needs--unconscious and conscious. Community was one of them.
It just made me think about our humanity and how we all long for the same things. And there is a reason for that. I loosely paraphrase CS Lewis in saying that for every desire there is something to fill it, and if we find in ourselves a desire which we cannot fill on earth, our only conclusion can be that we are made for another world.
It's humbling and makes me feel connected to the rest of the world, in a way, to remember that we all long for community--to be known and loved. To feel included. It gives me hope that there is a way to reach people who are extremely different from you--common ground.
Of course as Christians we know this. We are created to be in community. Hence, Eve. I mean, let's face it. No one likes being alone. At least not for more than a couple days.
We reflect our Creator who already lives in community via the Trinity.
It's just interesting and a little disheartening to know we're all searching for the same thing and some people will never find it because they are looking in the wrong places.
It's a little cliche, but I guess that's because it's true. The "God-shaped-hole" you learn about in 7th grade Sunday school holds true--even if it does turn into Christianeze.
So the point of the movie was that products become a sense of identity--Mac users, Coke drinkers, TOMS and Chaco wearers, Hummer drivers (although really, who wants to be THAT guy?)--you name it.
It made me think. I do identify myself with things I use/drink/wear.
Why does that junk matter? Sometimes I realize that I am ridiculous.
...And then forget it the next day.
[This post didn't really become what I wanted it to be. It's a little more scattered than I intended, but I'm listening to John Mayer's new album simultaneously so I'm kind of just writing what I'm thinking.]
The End.
..but I digress.
The video was about advertising and how the leading advertisers try to tap into our inner desire to be a part of something. Anything, really. It was interesting because they researched what makes people want to join cults, and applied that to advertising.
One of the main points was fulfilling needs--unconscious and conscious. Community was one of them.
It just made me think about our humanity and how we all long for the same things. And there is a reason for that. I loosely paraphrase CS Lewis in saying that for every desire there is something to fill it, and if we find in ourselves a desire which we cannot fill on earth, our only conclusion can be that we are made for another world.
It's humbling and makes me feel connected to the rest of the world, in a way, to remember that we all long for community--to be known and loved. To feel included. It gives me hope that there is a way to reach people who are extremely different from you--common ground.
Of course as Christians we know this. We are created to be in community. Hence, Eve. I mean, let's face it. No one likes being alone. At least not for more than a couple days.
We reflect our Creator who already lives in community via the Trinity.
It's just interesting and a little disheartening to know we're all searching for the same thing and some people will never find it because they are looking in the wrong places.
It's a little cliche, but I guess that's because it's true. The "God-shaped-hole" you learn about in 7th grade Sunday school holds true--even if it does turn into Christianeze.
So the point of the movie was that products become a sense of identity--Mac users, Coke drinkers, TOMS and Chaco wearers, Hummer drivers (although really, who wants to be THAT guy?)--you name it.
It made me think. I do identify myself with things I use/drink/wear.
Why does that junk matter? Sometimes I realize that I am ridiculous.
...And then forget it the next day.
[This post didn't really become what I wanted it to be. It's a little more scattered than I intended, but I'm listening to John Mayer's new album simultaneously so I'm kind of just writing what I'm thinking.]
The End.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
0065.
As I sit and stare at my computer screen, listening to the squeals of the insane So You Think You Can Dance? judge, who for Lord knows what reason finds it acceptable to burst ear drums at her every whim, I try to think of something to write.
Anything.
I'd like to do some creative writing, but I've gotten that sucked out of me by a journalism class.
That's lame. I thought I was pretty decent at that. Hopefully I'll rediscover that next semester. Or maybe not.
Then I'd like to write some passion-filled rant about something that really grinds my gears, but I've got nothing.
What can I say? Life is good.
I mean, I graduate in May with a degree in a field of which I am currently in my first semester, but y'know..besides that. Seriously. Why couldn't I just figure out that I hate Music Business after my first year like everybody else?
Sigh. Maybe I should just make a list again.
Well, here are some conclusions I've recently come to about myself:
-I gossip. ...Right? Who knew? It's got to stop.
-I will forever be a creature of habit, meaning I will forever have to give myself 3 separate reminders when I have to do something out of the ordinary the next day.
-Maybe I should stop trying to make things last longer and clinging to past experiences in an effort to preserve them and just accept that life moves on, which is not necessarily a bad thing.
-I've become more materialistic since I came to college. Darn you, Belmont hipsters!
-I really like scarves. I can wear them with t-shirts and look like I actually tried.
-I seriously cannot watch any more R-Rated movies. I just can't. There are either naked people, torture, or gore in them. My Disney-filled brain and active imagination can't handle it.
Well, there you have it, folks. Blog post number 1 since september. I hope it wasn't a disappointment. Maybe something will make me angry tomorrow and you'll get a more intelligent post.
Anything.
I'd like to do some creative writing, but I've gotten that sucked out of me by a journalism class.
That's lame. I thought I was pretty decent at that. Hopefully I'll rediscover that next semester. Or maybe not.
Then I'd like to write some passion-filled rant about something that really grinds my gears, but I've got nothing.
What can I say? Life is good.
I mean, I graduate in May with a degree in a field of which I am currently in my first semester, but y'know..besides that. Seriously. Why couldn't I just figure out that I hate Music Business after my first year like everybody else?
Sigh. Maybe I should just make a list again.
Well, here are some conclusions I've recently come to about myself:
-I gossip. ...Right? Who knew? It's got to stop.
-I will forever be a creature of habit, meaning I will forever have to give myself 3 separate reminders when I have to do something out of the ordinary the next day.
-Maybe I should stop trying to make things last longer and clinging to past experiences in an effort to preserve them and just accept that life moves on, which is not necessarily a bad thing.
-I've become more materialistic since I came to college. Darn you, Belmont hipsters!
-I really like scarves. I can wear them with t-shirts and look like I actually tried.
-I seriously cannot watch any more R-Rated movies. I just can't. There are either naked people, torture, or gore in them. My Disney-filled brain and active imagination can't handle it.
Well, there you have it, folks. Blog post number 1 since september. I hope it wasn't a disappointment. Maybe something will make me angry tomorrow and you'll get a more intelligent post.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
0064.
This morning my Intro to PR teacher said, while admitting that he'd grown up in a different era,
"When I was growing up, when the President spoke, you listened."
It would be an exciting thing to hear what he had to say or get the chance to meet him. I mean, he was THE President.
I think most people would agree that element of respect and reverence for the leader of one's [our] country has diminished greatly. At least among those who do not agree with the leader's policies. We concurred in our class that perhaps that decline was set in motion during the Clinton term, mostly due to the scandals he was involved in.
It makes my heart a little sad that that sort of general admiration and attitude of respect towards the President has been lost.
Anyways, I read the speech President Obama made today for the school kids. I thought it was awesome. I think there's something special about the President of our country taking the time to address just the students. I mean, when was the last time our President spoke directly to you and your peers? I think it would be really cool to feel included in that group. I think the fact that he took the time to do that was great. And I think the speech was actually rather moving.
It made me sad, once again, that people who do not share his opinions on issues almost automatically expected the worst from our President. But if he had spoken these words to me, I would've felt a little inspired. :) Let's face it, he's got that whole public speaking thing down.
Click here if you're interested in reading the transcript.
"When I was growing up, when the President spoke, you listened."
It would be an exciting thing to hear what he had to say or get the chance to meet him. I mean, he was THE President.
I think most people would agree that element of respect and reverence for the leader of one's [our] country has diminished greatly. At least among those who do not agree with the leader's policies. We concurred in our class that perhaps that decline was set in motion during the Clinton term, mostly due to the scandals he was involved in.
It makes my heart a little sad that that sort of general admiration and attitude of respect towards the President has been lost.
Anyways, I read the speech President Obama made today for the school kids. I thought it was awesome. I think there's something special about the President of our country taking the time to address just the students. I mean, when was the last time our President spoke directly to you and your peers? I think it would be really cool to feel included in that group. I think the fact that he took the time to do that was great. And I think the speech was actually rather moving.
It made me sad, once again, that people who do not share his opinions on issues almost automatically expected the worst from our President. But if he had spoken these words to me, I would've felt a little inspired. :) Let's face it, he's got that whole public speaking thing down.
Click here if you're interested in reading the transcript.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
0063.
I haven't blogged in over a month, and I'm struggling to find something good to blog about. So I'll just give an update.
This summer was very much a summer of transition. I'm trying to be better at embracing change...
First of all, i changed my major at the end of last semester, so the summer was filled with a series of bad experiences with community college classes on my way to beginning my new major at Belmont in the fall. "Physical Science" at Nashville State apparently means "basic physics including an inconvenient and unnecessary shift halfway through the semester in which your teacher, whose phd i can only assume is fabricated, decides to simply 'remove' any and all math from the course." It was basically the most frustrating joke of a class in which one cannot win without simply accepting his ridiculous justifications of his teaching style. If you could call it that. Not to mention the hoodlums (i use this word because i feel it is accurate and a necessary description) who only care about automotive technology and think that enrolling in a class that takes place from 1pm til about 3pm means "attend at any point during these two hours for the duration of your choice, and whatever you do, make sure everyone is aware of your presence at any given moment."
Anyways. I also took Biology online, which was a huge mistake.
Then Belmont took away our bottled water.
I got to see some of my best friends from home a few times, including a visit to Tuscaloosa which was so much fun!
I was also finally baptized. It went by really fast, so basically I remember standing backstage, wondering where our young adult minister, Ray, had vanished to, because he was the one dunking me. I remember stepping into the baptismal which, p.s., is totally just a metal trough that they try to pass off as fancy by strategically placing a wooden frame in front of it. The water was surprisingly warm. I recited the shpiel (i don't know if that is an actual word or not) i had memorized about why i wanted to be baptized. Because, let's face it, I am no public speaker and I am not about to get up there and start rambling and/or forget to say anything relevant at all. Then I was wet and it was over. But I am so glad I did it. I feel like this is something God wanted me to do, and I finally got up the courage to not care about the fact that I am 21 and not 8, like most kids that get baptized at Fellowship.
Then Beaman owned about a week of my life. But I really do like it there. New Grad Assistants. Transition again.
I'm washing my hands a lot so I don't get swine flu. Mostly because I will do whatever it takes to avoid throwing up.
Also, whose idea was it to name it swine flu? Maybe something that sounds a lot less like a death sentence and/or plague. Like "piglet flu." Awww.
I am starting PR at belmont. It's a little weird being around different types of people (99% girls, 50% blonde) and having classes in a different building, but I'm liking it so far. It will push me out of my comfort zone but once again, let's face it, I need that. I'm rather attached to my comfort zone.
This week I have to call my teacher's friends, family, and former coworkers in order to question them about her personality and life so that I can write a fake obituary about her.
Let the awkward ensue.
This summer was very much a summer of transition. I'm trying to be better at embracing change...
First of all, i changed my major at the end of last semester, so the summer was filled with a series of bad experiences with community college classes on my way to beginning my new major at Belmont in the fall. "Physical Science" at Nashville State apparently means "basic physics including an inconvenient and unnecessary shift halfway through the semester in which your teacher, whose phd i can only assume is fabricated, decides to simply 'remove' any and all math from the course." It was basically the most frustrating joke of a class in which one cannot win without simply accepting his ridiculous justifications of his teaching style. If you could call it that. Not to mention the hoodlums (i use this word because i feel it is accurate and a necessary description) who only care about automotive technology and think that enrolling in a class that takes place from 1pm til about 3pm means "attend at any point during these two hours for the duration of your choice, and whatever you do, make sure everyone is aware of your presence at any given moment."
Anyways. I also took Biology online, which was a huge mistake.
Then Belmont took away our bottled water.
I got to see some of my best friends from home a few times, including a visit to Tuscaloosa which was so much fun!
I was also finally baptized. It went by really fast, so basically I remember standing backstage, wondering where our young adult minister, Ray, had vanished to, because he was the one dunking me. I remember stepping into the baptismal which, p.s., is totally just a metal trough that they try to pass off as fancy by strategically placing a wooden frame in front of it. The water was surprisingly warm. I recited the shpiel (i don't know if that is an actual word or not) i had memorized about why i wanted to be baptized. Because, let's face it, I am no public speaker and I am not about to get up there and start rambling and/or forget to say anything relevant at all. Then I was wet and it was over. But I am so glad I did it. I feel like this is something God wanted me to do, and I finally got up the courage to not care about the fact that I am 21 and not 8, like most kids that get baptized at Fellowship.
Then Beaman owned about a week of my life. But I really do like it there. New Grad Assistants. Transition again.
I'm washing my hands a lot so I don't get swine flu. Mostly because I will do whatever it takes to avoid throwing up.
Also, whose idea was it to name it swine flu? Maybe something that sounds a lot less like a death sentence and/or plague. Like "piglet flu." Awww.
I am starting PR at belmont. It's a little weird being around different types of people (99% girls, 50% blonde) and having classes in a different building, but I'm liking it so far. It will push me out of my comfort zone but once again, let's face it, I need that. I'm rather attached to my comfort zone.
This week I have to call my teacher's friends, family, and former coworkers in order to question them about her personality and life so that I can write a fake obituary about her.
Let the awkward ensue.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
0062.
-Tidbits-
1. "Break Even" A song that Dave Barnes tweeted about. I actually thought it was catchy & well-written. And I didn't care for their first single. Click the link to see the YouTube video.
2. I read John recently, and a couple things stood out to me that hadn't before.
-Jesus prayed for us. [John 17:6-26} As in, Jesus talked to God on our behalf. Asking Him to take care of us. It was really humbling and brought a new level of humanity to Jesus for me. I love that. He's not just some all-powerful being bestowing things upon us. He prayed for us just like we pray for others. Except this is the King of Kings speaking. Hm.
-The last verse in John, via the ESV:
"Now there are also many other things that Jesus did. Were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written."- John 21:25.
Wow. Beautiful, yet once again humanizing. I love when you can relate to the author of the book just by the nature in which they wrote. Like he's actually just having a conversation with you. I love that it leaves you hanging a little bit, too. That there are great things about Jesus that we don't even know about. Awesome.
3. I'm being baptized at my church next Saturday. I'm getting excited about it actually. I'm excited to actually do something I know God has been wanting me to do. I'm excited to have that experience and know what it feels like. I'm a little nervous just because of the whole being-in-front-of-hundreds-of-people thing...but y'know. It'll be good.
1. "Break Even" A song that Dave Barnes tweeted about. I actually thought it was catchy & well-written. And I didn't care for their first single. Click the link to see the YouTube video.
2. I read John recently, and a couple things stood out to me that hadn't before.
-Jesus prayed for us. [John 17:6-26} As in, Jesus talked to God on our behalf. Asking Him to take care of us. It was really humbling and brought a new level of humanity to Jesus for me. I love that. He's not just some all-powerful being bestowing things upon us. He prayed for us just like we pray for others. Except this is the King of Kings speaking. Hm.
-The last verse in John, via the ESV:
"Now there are also many other things that Jesus did. Were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written."- John 21:25.
Wow. Beautiful, yet once again humanizing. I love when you can relate to the author of the book just by the nature in which they wrote. Like he's actually just having a conversation with you. I love that it leaves you hanging a little bit, too. That there are great things about Jesus that we don't even know about. Awesome.
3. I'm being baptized at my church next Saturday. I'm getting excited about it actually. I'm excited to actually do something I know God has been wanting me to do. I'm excited to have that experience and know what it feels like. I'm a little nervous just because of the whole being-in-front-of-hundreds-of-people thing...but y'know. It'll be good.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
0061.
As I was enduring the frozen tundra that is the beaman weight room, sitting in that little blue chair, I decided to peruse the magazine rack for something to occupy my time.
The cover of a TIME magazine with a wedding cake on the cover, mentioning the importance of marriage in the title, caught my eye. I actually found the article to be very interesting. I mean, a popular magazine actually arguing FOR marriage, not just commenting on the decline of it? Hm.
Some points that stood out to me:
- The decline of the institution of marriage can be attributed to different motives per socio-economic class.
"The poor are [forsaking marriage] be uncoupling parenthood from marriage, and the financially secure are doing it by blasting apart their unions if the principals aren't having fun anymore."
-One of the previous arguments for children doing exceedingly well with two parents was that if you account for income level, the presence of a father is not the cause for poor performance in children. In this article, they found that across the board, even in lower income scenarios, children from two-parent households far exceeded the performance and achievement of children from one-parent households. Even if the one-parent household child is in a more wealthy family than the child from a two-parent household, the two-parent household child exceeds the other.
-A president that actually challenges men to step up and honor the commitment to raising a child. Regardless of politics, I admire this statement by our President:
"We need our fathers to step up, to realize that their job does not end at conception; that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child but the courage to raise one."- Barack Obama
-A reason for marriage other than happiness and romantic love: to raise the next generation.
"Children have a primal need to know who they are, to love and be loved by the two people whose physical union brought them here. To lose that connection, that sense of identity, is to experience a would that no child-support check or fancy school can ever heal." -Blankenhorn, President of the Institute for American Values
-An explanation for the troubles cohabitating adults have when a child is brought into the picture:
The child arrives in a family that hasn't resolved its most basic issues, i.e. sexual fidelity and division of responsibilities. The woman starts making wife-like demands on the man, and with no binding commitment, the man leaves.
-A pattern forming: adults are becoming increasingly less willing to put in the hard work and personal sacrifice it takes to maintain a marriage. President and Michelle Obama are often admired for still being "in love." They took a period of separation to work on their marriage and are now in a better place.
-An observation re: Jon Gosselin
The article says that he lives "as though loving the kids and doing right by them were unrelated events."
-The general public delights or even experiences "relief when a standard bearer for the 'traditional family' fails to pull it off."
-Once again, a different reason for marriage than being "in love" and "happy" all the time:
"To raise the next generation. To protect it and teach it. To instill in it the habits of conduct and character that will ensure the generation's own safe passage into adult-hood."
..Something to think about.
The cover of a TIME magazine with a wedding cake on the cover, mentioning the importance of marriage in the title, caught my eye. I actually found the article to be very interesting. I mean, a popular magazine actually arguing FOR marriage, not just commenting on the decline of it? Hm.
Some points that stood out to me:
- The decline of the institution of marriage can be attributed to different motives per socio-economic class.
"The poor are [forsaking marriage] be uncoupling parenthood from marriage, and the financially secure are doing it by blasting apart their unions if the principals aren't having fun anymore."
-One of the previous arguments for children doing exceedingly well with two parents was that if you account for income level, the presence of a father is not the cause for poor performance in children. In this article, they found that across the board, even in lower income scenarios, children from two-parent households far exceeded the performance and achievement of children from one-parent households. Even if the one-parent household child is in a more wealthy family than the child from a two-parent household, the two-parent household child exceeds the other.
-A president that actually challenges men to step up and honor the commitment to raising a child. Regardless of politics, I admire this statement by our President:
"We need our fathers to step up, to realize that their job does not end at conception; that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child but the courage to raise one."- Barack Obama
-A reason for marriage other than happiness and romantic love: to raise the next generation.
"Children have a primal need to know who they are, to love and be loved by the two people whose physical union brought them here. To lose that connection, that sense of identity, is to experience a would that no child-support check or fancy school can ever heal." -Blankenhorn, President of the Institute for American Values
-An explanation for the troubles cohabitating adults have when a child is brought into the picture:
The child arrives in a family that hasn't resolved its most basic issues, i.e. sexual fidelity and division of responsibilities. The woman starts making wife-like demands on the man, and with no binding commitment, the man leaves.
-A pattern forming: adults are becoming increasingly less willing to put in the hard work and personal sacrifice it takes to maintain a marriage. President and Michelle Obama are often admired for still being "in love." They took a period of separation to work on their marriage and are now in a better place.
-An observation re: Jon Gosselin
The article says that he lives "as though loving the kids and doing right by them were unrelated events."
-The general public delights or even experiences "relief when a standard bearer for the 'traditional family' fails to pull it off."
-Once again, a different reason for marriage than being "in love" and "happy" all the time:
"To raise the next generation. To protect it and teach it. To instill in it the habits of conduct and character that will ensure the generation's own safe passage into adult-hood."
..Something to think about.
Friday, July 17, 2009
0060.
Happy International Justice Day!
Learn about International Justice Day and why its important from Mocha Club's new video here!:
I've been trying to figure out what God wants me to do with my life lately. Trying to find where my passions lie. And although I am still unsure, I see this video, hear stories, read articles, and I just can't help but seriously consider going into a nonprofit to help people around the world overcome injustice. We are so blessed to live in a country where, while we are not immune to injustice by any means, we have things like clean water and accessible healthcare.
I hope that our generation can stand together against these injustices and love as Jesus loved, never neglecting the needs of our brothers and sisters, who exist both in and beyond our own nation.
Thanks for reading!
Learn about International Justice Day and why its important from Mocha Club's new video here!:
I've been trying to figure out what God wants me to do with my life lately. Trying to find where my passions lie. And although I am still unsure, I see this video, hear stories, read articles, and I just can't help but seriously consider going into a nonprofit to help people around the world overcome injustice. We are so blessed to live in a country where, while we are not immune to injustice by any means, we have things like clean water and accessible healthcare.
I hope that our generation can stand together against these injustices and love as Jesus loved, never neglecting the needs of our brothers and sisters, who exist both in and beyond our own nation.
Thanks for reading!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
0059.
Thoughts.
1. Community College = LAME. (...no offense..)
2. I want to start using the phrase "right??" like they do on How I Met Your Mother.
3. Today when I was watching a YouTube video someone linked to of an 1983 MJ performance, I realized that I've never really watched Michael Jackson perform from his earlier days. I've only heard the songs and seen the music videos. Hm. I kind of feel like I missed out by like 10 years. Bring on the next prodigy, society. We're ready.
4. This Sunday I was a little mad at God because I feel like He never talks to me. He never gives me a definitive answer. I know, I know. It's because I'm not listening, right? I've heard that all before. But seriously. I felt (and still do a little) that he speaks clearly to other people and not me. Or either they are making it all up, and they don't really know the difference between their own wishes/the "right" thing to do vs. God's voice telling them what to do. I was extremely frustrated. I mean, really. SPEAK IN AUDIBLE WORDS PLEASE. Maybe it was because I was being honest with Him in my head, or maybe I just needed to wait it out (although I feel like I wait out a lot of things and then just end up doing what I think I should do without any definitive "DO THIS." from God)...but I feel like He gave me closure that day. I feel good about my decision. And whether that is His voice or not, maybe I'll never be 100% sure. But I am reassured. And that's what I needed.
5. If you haven't heard Derek Webb's new album, Stockholm Syndrome, go to derekwebb.com and buy it. You get an immediate download even if you buy the physical cd. It is bold and thought-provoking. Listen closely.
6. I want to discover my passions in life and figure out what I am good at. Right now I don't know, but I'm trying.
7. I have one year of college left. AHH. I will try to make the absolute most of it!
8. Maybe I should write a collection of short stories. I know they would probably have little to no literary value as far as utilizing rhetorical devices go...but I would enjoy it. The first will be Captain Planet's awkward high school years, co-written by Edwin.
9....And I want a Sham-Wow.
1. Community College = LAME. (...no offense..)
2. I want to start using the phrase "right??" like they do on How I Met Your Mother.
3. Today when I was watching a YouTube video someone linked to of an 1983 MJ performance, I realized that I've never really watched Michael Jackson perform from his earlier days. I've only heard the songs and seen the music videos. Hm. I kind of feel like I missed out by like 10 years. Bring on the next prodigy, society. We're ready.
4. This Sunday I was a little mad at God because I feel like He never talks to me. He never gives me a definitive answer. I know, I know. It's because I'm not listening, right? I've heard that all before. But seriously. I felt (and still do a little) that he speaks clearly to other people and not me. Or either they are making it all up, and they don't really know the difference between their own wishes/the "right" thing to do vs. God's voice telling them what to do. I was extremely frustrated. I mean, really. SPEAK IN AUDIBLE WORDS PLEASE. Maybe it was because I was being honest with Him in my head, or maybe I just needed to wait it out (although I feel like I wait out a lot of things and then just end up doing what I think I should do without any definitive "DO THIS." from God)...but I feel like He gave me closure that day. I feel good about my decision. And whether that is His voice or not, maybe I'll never be 100% sure. But I am reassured. And that's what I needed.
5. If you haven't heard Derek Webb's new album, Stockholm Syndrome, go to derekwebb.com and buy it. You get an immediate download even if you buy the physical cd. It is bold and thought-provoking. Listen closely.
6. I want to discover my passions in life and figure out what I am good at. Right now I don't know, but I'm trying.
7. I have one year of college left. AHH. I will try to make the absolute most of it!
8. Maybe I should write a collection of short stories. I know they would probably have little to no literary value as far as utilizing rhetorical devices go...but I would enjoy it. The first will be Captain Planet's awkward high school years, co-written by Edwin.
9....And I want a Sham-Wow.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
0058.
A Fictional Story.
By: Laura Fagan
It's not like I think about him every day, y'know. I mean, I have a life. I do yoga. My dog loves to watch The View with me every morning. Mr. Ramirez, the mailman, and I have actually formed a substantial acquaintance. And besides, it's not as if I haven't tried to forget. Maybe I should just pour myself into my work like those cocktail-drinking business women in the movies. At least then I wouldn't have time to consider the important things in life, which, for me, would be an improvement.
If it weren't for that damn MyBook.com, I would never have had to see his face again after college. How does social networking manage to sound so appealing yet make my life miserable? I mean, having all the details about a person they choose to share with the internet world (which admittedly is often far too much) at your fingertips? It's fascinating! It fulfills my inner child's lifelong dream of becoming the next Harriet the Spy. But therein lies the danger. My vice. I don't WANT to look. But there he is. Just standing there, the gleam of the camera flash reflecting off the mirror just enough to give the picture that amateur glow. As if he isn't brilliant at everything. But I digress.
I suppose it doesn't help that I still frequent the same gym in which he is currently employed. So what, I'm just supposed to abandon all regard for physical fitness because of a little undying, unrequited love for Get Fit's employee of the month? Uh, I don't think so. That would be a crime against my very flesh. And I don't condone propitiating future pain by simply refusing to embrace a few challenges...
I still have his t-shirt, you know. I mean, the fact that it is even in my possession in the first place is somewhat of a mishap. But is it my fault that people leave things lying around in the laundromat dryer while they go make change for a dollar? I've been planning the return of the shirt for the last two weeks, and I think I've come up with a brilliant solution to fill the pit of longing in my very soul. Closure, that is. Upon casually returning the shirt, ("oh, hi, i believe you dropped this the other day...") he will either confess his feelings for me in a dramatic scene of unleashed hidden passion... or walk away, t-shirt in hand. And in that serendipitous moment I will know in my heart whether or not it is meant to be.
THEN I will pour myself into my work.
The manager of the kitchen appliances department will be thrilled.
By: Laura Fagan
It's not like I think about him every day, y'know. I mean, I have a life. I do yoga. My dog loves to watch The View with me every morning. Mr. Ramirez, the mailman, and I have actually formed a substantial acquaintance. And besides, it's not as if I haven't tried to forget. Maybe I should just pour myself into my work like those cocktail-drinking business women in the movies. At least then I wouldn't have time to consider the important things in life, which, for me, would be an improvement.
If it weren't for that damn MyBook.com, I would never have had to see his face again after college. How does social networking manage to sound so appealing yet make my life miserable? I mean, having all the details about a person they choose to share with the internet world (which admittedly is often far too much) at your fingertips? It's fascinating! It fulfills my inner child's lifelong dream of becoming the next Harriet the Spy. But therein lies the danger. My vice. I don't WANT to look. But there he is. Just standing there, the gleam of the camera flash reflecting off the mirror just enough to give the picture that amateur glow. As if he isn't brilliant at everything. But I digress.
I suppose it doesn't help that I still frequent the same gym in which he is currently employed. So what, I'm just supposed to abandon all regard for physical fitness because of a little undying, unrequited love for Get Fit's employee of the month? Uh, I don't think so. That would be a crime against my very flesh. And I don't condone propitiating future pain by simply refusing to embrace a few challenges...
I still have his t-shirt, you know. I mean, the fact that it is even in my possession in the first place is somewhat of a mishap. But is it my fault that people leave things lying around in the laundromat dryer while they go make change for a dollar? I've been planning the return of the shirt for the last two weeks, and I think I've come up with a brilliant solution to fill the pit of longing in my very soul. Closure, that is. Upon casually returning the shirt, ("oh, hi, i believe you dropped this the other day...") he will either confess his feelings for me in a dramatic scene of unleashed hidden passion... or walk away, t-shirt in hand. And in that serendipitous moment I will know in my heart whether or not it is meant to be.
THEN I will pour myself into my work.
The manager of the kitchen appliances department will be thrilled.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
0057.
Say what you will about Dave Matthews Band. I've never really been a huge fan. But I like this song.
I really like what the lyrics have to say, and I think the slightly off-kilter music in the verses reflect them. So here's the lyrics.
Just thought I'd post them.
P.S. I went to a Mosque tonight for my Religion class. It was interesting. I'll probably blog more on that when I don't have a 10 page paper staring me in the face....
Lyin’ in the park
On a beautiful day
Sun shine in the grass
And the children play
Siren’s passin’
Fire engine’s red
Someone’s house is burning down
On a day like this
The evening comes and we’re hangin’ out
On the front step
And a car goes by with the windows rolled down
And that war song is playin “why can’t we be friends?”
Someone's screamin’ and cryin’ in the apartment upstairs
Funny the way it is
And if you think about it
Somebody’s goin’ hungry
And someone else is eatin’ out
Funny the way it is
Whether right or wrong
Somebody’s heart is broken
And it becomes your favorite song
The way your mouth feels in a lover’s kiss
Like a pretty bird on a breeze
Or water to a fish
But a bomb blast brings the building crashin’ to the floor
Hear the laughter while the children play war
Funny the way it is
And if you think about it
One kid walks 10 miles to school
While another’s droppin’ out
Funny the way it is
No matter right or wrong
On a soldier’s last breath
His baby’s being born
Standin’ on a bridge
Watch the water passin’ under me
It must have been much harder
When there was no bridge just water
Now the world is small
Remember how it used to be
With mountain, and oceans, and winter’s, and river’s and stars
Watch the sky the jetplanes
So far out of my reach
Is there someone up there lookin’ down on me?
Boy chase a bird
So close but everytime
He never catch her
But he can’t stop trying
I really like what the lyrics have to say, and I think the slightly off-kilter music in the verses reflect them. So here's the lyrics.
Just thought I'd post them.
P.S. I went to a Mosque tonight for my Religion class. It was interesting. I'll probably blog more on that when I don't have a 10 page paper staring me in the face....
Lyin’ in the park
On a beautiful day
Sun shine in the grass
And the children play
Siren’s passin’
Fire engine’s red
Someone’s house is burning down
On a day like this
The evening comes and we’re hangin’ out
On the front step
And a car goes by with the windows rolled down
And that war song is playin “why can’t we be friends?”
Someone's screamin’ and cryin’ in the apartment upstairs
Funny the way it is
And if you think about it
Somebody’s goin’ hungry
And someone else is eatin’ out
Funny the way it is
Whether right or wrong
Somebody’s heart is broken
And it becomes your favorite song
The way your mouth feels in a lover’s kiss
Like a pretty bird on a breeze
Or water to a fish
But a bomb blast brings the building crashin’ to the floor
Hear the laughter while the children play war
Funny the way it is
And if you think about it
One kid walks 10 miles to school
While another’s droppin’ out
Funny the way it is
No matter right or wrong
On a soldier’s last breath
His baby’s being born
Standin’ on a bridge
Watch the water passin’ under me
It must have been much harder
When there was no bridge just water
Now the world is small
Remember how it used to be
With mountain, and oceans, and winter’s, and river’s and stars
Watch the sky the jetplanes
So far out of my reach
Is there someone up there lookin’ down on me?
Boy chase a bird
So close but everytime
He never catch her
But he can’t stop trying
Friday, April 10, 2009
0056.
So I wanted to write a blog today, but I'd kind of decided against it since I usually write a blog on Easter and didn't feel like I had anything new to add.
Until about 2pm today.
I was riding with my mom (in the valley) to run errands before getting a pedicure (yay), when I saw something that made me fight back tears.
I'll try to paint the picture for you, because I didn't think I would able to get a good photo of it.
We pulled into the bank parking lot, so I was able to watch further while my mom went inside.
This is what I saw:
An older man, unkempt, with a long white beard wearing dingy flannel and cargo pants. Some sort of hat. I can't picture it well now. He had two flat metal crosses hanging around his neck. Here inlies the interesting part: on his back he was stabling a cross, which i later saw to be dragging along on what I think was a dolly, covered in a sheet on which the face of Jesus was painted. Some stray garments of some sort hung from it as well.
He was trudging along on the grass (or sidewalk, if there happened to be one) in the same direction the cars were traveling, so the first thing the cars saw was a large moving cross with a giant Jesus face covering most of it. You could not see the man from behind. I was able to watch him intently as he gradually advanced in my view from one side of the windshield to the other.
Now, the man simply trudged along, step by step, very deliberately. He said nothing. Better yet, he yelled nothing. He kept his gaze forward and slightly tilted downward. He stopped for a few seconds about every 15 yards or so, perhaps to gather his bearings again before continuing on.
I have no idea how far he had traveled or how far he was planning on going. I have no idea if anyone else even gave him a second glance.
But I wish I could let him know that he touched my heart today.
In the same humble way as Jesus did, without saying a word, he said a thousand words. There were no picket signs or megaphones. There were no war statistics or hellfire speeches. He just reminded everyone of what was happening on that day almost two thousand years ago.
And perhaps no one noticed. (although, how could you not--at least for a second) Perhaps practically no one cared. But I feel like that is an accurate representation of Jesus and how he presented himself to the world. He did what he came to do, with one thing in mind, and he did it humbly. And most people didn't (and don't) care.
I hope that man finds rest today. I don't know if he was homeless; I don't think he was crazy. But if he made no difference to anyone else today, I hope somehow he knows that he affected me.
Thank you Jesus. I could better feel the weight of Your sacrifice today because of the heart of this man.
Until about 2pm today.
I was riding with my mom (in the valley) to run errands before getting a pedicure (yay), when I saw something that made me fight back tears.
I'll try to paint the picture for you, because I didn't think I would able to get a good photo of it.
We pulled into the bank parking lot, so I was able to watch further while my mom went inside.
This is what I saw:
An older man, unkempt, with a long white beard wearing dingy flannel and cargo pants. Some sort of hat. I can't picture it well now. He had two flat metal crosses hanging around his neck. Here inlies the interesting part: on his back he was stabling a cross, which i later saw to be dragging along on what I think was a dolly, covered in a sheet on which the face of Jesus was painted. Some stray garments of some sort hung from it as well.
He was trudging along on the grass (or sidewalk, if there happened to be one) in the same direction the cars were traveling, so the first thing the cars saw was a large moving cross with a giant Jesus face covering most of it. You could not see the man from behind. I was able to watch him intently as he gradually advanced in my view from one side of the windshield to the other.
Now, the man simply trudged along, step by step, very deliberately. He said nothing. Better yet, he yelled nothing. He kept his gaze forward and slightly tilted downward. He stopped for a few seconds about every 15 yards or so, perhaps to gather his bearings again before continuing on.
I have no idea how far he had traveled or how far he was planning on going. I have no idea if anyone else even gave him a second glance.
But I wish I could let him know that he touched my heart today.
In the same humble way as Jesus did, without saying a word, he said a thousand words. There were no picket signs or megaphones. There were no war statistics or hellfire speeches. He just reminded everyone of what was happening on that day almost two thousand years ago.
And perhaps no one noticed. (although, how could you not--at least for a second) Perhaps practically no one cared. But I feel like that is an accurate representation of Jesus and how he presented himself to the world. He did what he came to do, with one thing in mind, and he did it humbly. And most people didn't (and don't) care.
I hope that man finds rest today. I don't know if he was homeless; I don't think he was crazy. But if he made no difference to anyone else today, I hope somehow he knows that he affected me.
Thank you Jesus. I could better feel the weight of Your sacrifice today because of the heart of this man.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
0055.
Craig's contribution to my paper on how International Business relates to Music Business:
Butternut squash. This vegetable is more than just a tasty treat. It can be used for many practical purposes around the house, such as a doorstop, a hat, weights to lift, a pillow, and many others. The only limit is your imagination!
Butternut squash. This vegetable is more than just a tasty treat. It can be used for many practical purposes around the house, such as a doorstop, a hat, weights to lift, a pillow, and many others. The only limit is your imagination!
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
0053.
Things I Wish I Had Time To Do:
1. sit on the quad in the sunshine
2. make pot roast
3. watch hsm 3
4. eat lunch with friends
5. play guitar (!!)
6. write blogs.
7. schedule group meetings. (not that it is desirable.)
8. take care of a puppy so that i could GET a puppy (!!)
9. watch One Tree Hill on time
10. work at camp this summer for two weeks
11. journal
12. find the thing i'm good at
13. go sit at CPK so i can find a celebrity
1. sit on the quad in the sunshine
2. make pot roast
3. watch hsm 3
4. eat lunch with friends
5. play guitar (!!)
6. write blogs.
7. schedule group meetings. (not that it is desirable.)
8. take care of a puppy so that i could GET a puppy (!!)
9. watch One Tree Hill on time
10. work at camp this summer for two weeks
11. journal
12. find the thing i'm good at
13. go sit at CPK so i can find a celebrity
Sunday, March 29, 2009
0052.
1. I'm most likely changing my major. Yes, I am a junior...
2. The main thing I wanted to blog on was what we talked about in my religion class the other day. Actually, it wasn't even really part of the lecture. But my professor told a story that I am about to try to summarize for you. It might be a little long, depending on how much I can remember. But here goes.
Beginning of WWII. When the Nazis started invading and killing/capturing Jewish people, a Rabbi in Czechoslovakia (I think.) heard what was happening and knew that there was a strong possibility of his Synagogue being destroyed. He wanted to protect the 60,000 dollar hand-made (today's worth estimate, at least), not to mention sacred, Torah, so he went to a Catholic priest that he knew and asked him a favor. He asked him if he would be willing to hide it until all of the happenings were over. He asked that it be returned if a new synagogue is ever built in its place. The priest agreed, and he knew that once the Nazi's raided the Synagogue and saw no Torah, they'd go looking for it. So he decided to have it buried in a cemetery. They had a ceremony; he performed all the rites. It was put in a casket and buried.
When the Nazis came, sure enough they raided the Synagogue and killed the Rabbi and the other Jewish people involved.
(Note: the Nazis were taking the physical remnants of the Jewish culture they were destroying and sending them to a warehouse that they called The Museum of Extinct Peoples.)
I can't remember how much time went by, but after probably a few days or something of looking for the Torah, someone slipped and told the Nazis it was in the cemetery. The Nazis killed the Catholic priest, and tore up the cemetery indiscriminately, digging up graves right and left until they found it. Then they sent it to the Museum of Extinct Peoples.
When the war was over, Britain had a part of Czechoslovakia that contained the museum, so they were wondering what to do with it. So they sent it back to the synagogue being built there (I am only about 80% sure of this detail..).
Anyways, this whole story was told to my professor by a previous Rabbi at a synagogue in Nashville. And once a year he would get out their Torah, unroll it and let children gather around and he told the WWII story.
And he says: So live your lives that such evil never happens again.
And it made me think. Seriously. How can God get any glory from this world? Nothing is right about it. There are evils that could be qualified as almost as bad as that existing in sex trafficking today. How can we ever do anything to help fix it?
And what a tremendous amount of social responsibility we have.
Back to a verse I have to keep thinking of when I ask the question, "why am I so freaking comfortable while the world suffers?"--- To whom much has been given, much is demanded.
Man. That story just got to me. How dark the world is and how small we are. Just wondering how any aspect of our lives can be remotely pleasing to God when there is such darkness...
I don't know. Sometimes I just want to sleep until it goes away. But I know I can't. And I can't just check out and ignore the pain in the world. I have to find some small way to shine a little light.
Sorry this was a bit of a downer. But, um, on the bright side I have tickets to see The Fray and Jack's Mannequin this summer at Chastain in Atlanta... :)
2. The main thing I wanted to blog on was what we talked about in my religion class the other day. Actually, it wasn't even really part of the lecture. But my professor told a story that I am about to try to summarize for you. It might be a little long, depending on how much I can remember. But here goes.
Beginning of WWII. When the Nazis started invading and killing/capturing Jewish people, a Rabbi in Czechoslovakia (I think.) heard what was happening and knew that there was a strong possibility of his Synagogue being destroyed. He wanted to protect the 60,000 dollar hand-made (today's worth estimate, at least), not to mention sacred, Torah, so he went to a Catholic priest that he knew and asked him a favor. He asked him if he would be willing to hide it until all of the happenings were over. He asked that it be returned if a new synagogue is ever built in its place. The priest agreed, and he knew that once the Nazi's raided the Synagogue and saw no Torah, they'd go looking for it. So he decided to have it buried in a cemetery. They had a ceremony; he performed all the rites. It was put in a casket and buried.
When the Nazis came, sure enough they raided the Synagogue and killed the Rabbi and the other Jewish people involved.
(Note: the Nazis were taking the physical remnants of the Jewish culture they were destroying and sending them to a warehouse that they called The Museum of Extinct Peoples.)
I can't remember how much time went by, but after probably a few days or something of looking for the Torah, someone slipped and told the Nazis it was in the cemetery. The Nazis killed the Catholic priest, and tore up the cemetery indiscriminately, digging up graves right and left until they found it. Then they sent it to the Museum of Extinct Peoples.
When the war was over, Britain had a part of Czechoslovakia that contained the museum, so they were wondering what to do with it. So they sent it back to the synagogue being built there (I am only about 80% sure of this detail..).
Anyways, this whole story was told to my professor by a previous Rabbi at a synagogue in Nashville. And once a year he would get out their Torah, unroll it and let children gather around and he told the WWII story.
And he says: So live your lives that such evil never happens again.
And it made me think. Seriously. How can God get any glory from this world? Nothing is right about it. There are evils that could be qualified as almost as bad as that existing in sex trafficking today. How can we ever do anything to help fix it?
And what a tremendous amount of social responsibility we have.
Back to a verse I have to keep thinking of when I ask the question, "why am I so freaking comfortable while the world suffers?"--- To whom much has been given, much is demanded.
Man. That story just got to me. How dark the world is and how small we are. Just wondering how any aspect of our lives can be remotely pleasing to God when there is such darkness...
I don't know. Sometimes I just want to sleep until it goes away. But I know I can't. And I can't just check out and ignore the pain in the world. I have to find some small way to shine a little light.
Sorry this was a bit of a downer. But, um, on the bright side I have tickets to see The Fray and Jack's Mannequin this summer at Chastain in Atlanta... :)
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
0050.
Blog Post 50. Is that a milestone? If not, I think it should be. I feel like I should at least have a party of the same caliber of the one Jim & Dwight threw Kelly for her birthday. But I digress.
First of all I just want to say how happy I am that I have a community group. Not just one that exists in theory, but one that actually meets on a regular basis and has a relatively consistent number of great girls that come.
I had the awesome opportunity to have most of them over to my house last night to cook dinner. It is so great to just hang out with girls going through the same kinds of things you are and just talk. I do love having a boyfriend, but my girl time seriously diminishes. So I'm just really thankful for those girls and the opportunity to get to know them better.
Second of all, our former young adult minister, Reid, (who is awesome) posted this blog with a video that is not only hilarious but so telling of our current state of consciousness in the world. Click here to see it.
Third of all, I have entirely too much homework this week, and I might explode, but if I do in fact manage to stay intact, Spring Break is on the horizon and I get to go skiing with my family and Craig plus family friends. yay!!
oh. and get The Fray's cover of Kanye West's "Heartless" on their MySpace blog. You won't be disappointed.
That is all.
First of all I just want to say how happy I am that I have a community group. Not just one that exists in theory, but one that actually meets on a regular basis and has a relatively consistent number of great girls that come.
I had the awesome opportunity to have most of them over to my house last night to cook dinner. It is so great to just hang out with girls going through the same kinds of things you are and just talk. I do love having a boyfriend, but my girl time seriously diminishes. So I'm just really thankful for those girls and the opportunity to get to know them better.
Second of all, our former young adult minister, Reid, (who is awesome) posted this blog with a video that is not only hilarious but so telling of our current state of consciousness in the world. Click here to see it.
Third of all, I have entirely too much homework this week, and I might explode, but if I do in fact manage to stay intact, Spring Break is on the horizon and I get to go skiing with my family and Craig plus family friends. yay!!
oh. and get The Fray's cover of Kanye West's "Heartless" on their MySpace blog. You won't be disappointed.
That is all.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
0048.
(Possibly D-List) Celebrities Whom I Wish Hadn't Faded Into Oblivion:
1. Devon Sawa
2. Kevin from the Backstreet Boys
3. Gregory Smith
4. Erik Von Detten
5. Kaci & JoJo
6. Ja Rule
7. The cast of Boy Meets World
8. Jonathan Taylor Thomas
9. Dustin Diamond (name that character...)
..but mostly Devon Sawa.
Oh, and here's the "creative response" to a book called Borderlands (think: immigration, exploitation, loss of identity) I wrote for my 3rd Year Writing class. I think it's pretty okay for a 1-page (double spaced) narrative:
My stomach lurched in the most unbearable way. I was no longer able to distinguish whether the torrential river blurring my vision was the beating rain or my own gushing tears. The ice-cold mud squished through my sandals, between my toes as I tore through the darkness, though I could barely feel my feet anymore. I struggled to wrap my sopping wet hand-woven shawl tighter around my shoulders in an attempt to feel warmth again.
Not having eaten in two days, I felt my legs begin to buckle underneath me as I neared that ambiguous territory. The knot in my stomach told me they’d find me and send me back—or worse—but still, I felt compelled to continue. My goal was on the horizon.
I tried to remember my son. My sweet, beautiful son. This is for him. I will find a way. No longer will I accept poverty as an inevitable truth.
Lights. Illuminating the small palm tree within 50 feet of me I had not previously been aware of, the beams scoured the area to my left. My heart throbbed against my ribs as if it refused to be contained. I had arrived. I collapsed to the ground as if my body had been holding out just long enough to see a glimpse of the destination.
I lay frozen on the mucky ground, for I knew not what else to do. My body seemed to have forgotten how to flinch, let alone crawl. I prayed. I prayed with more conviction than I had during the only four Masses I’d attended in my lifetime combined. I do not know to whom exactly I was praying. The universe, I guess. Or any being who promised hope. I suppose I prayed due to a lack of feasible alternatives.
I heard the crunch of tires on gravel. A door slammed shut. This was it. They would be here soon. My body convulsed in a fit of uncontrollable sobs. Perdóname, mi hijo. I managed to whisper, perdóname,,,
1. Devon Sawa
2. Kevin from the Backstreet Boys
3. Gregory Smith
4. Erik Von Detten
5. Kaci & JoJo
6. Ja Rule
7. The cast of Boy Meets World
8. Jonathan Taylor Thomas
9. Dustin Diamond (name that character...)
..but mostly Devon Sawa.
Oh, and here's the "creative response" to a book called Borderlands (think: immigration, exploitation, loss of identity) I wrote for my 3rd Year Writing class. I think it's pretty okay for a 1-page (double spaced) narrative:
My stomach lurched in the most unbearable way. I was no longer able to distinguish whether the torrential river blurring my vision was the beating rain or my own gushing tears. The ice-cold mud squished through my sandals, between my toes as I tore through the darkness, though I could barely feel my feet anymore. I struggled to wrap my sopping wet hand-woven shawl tighter around my shoulders in an attempt to feel warmth again.
Not having eaten in two days, I felt my legs begin to buckle underneath me as I neared that ambiguous territory. The knot in my stomach told me they’d find me and send me back—or worse—but still, I felt compelled to continue. My goal was on the horizon.
I tried to remember my son. My sweet, beautiful son. This is for him. I will find a way. No longer will I accept poverty as an inevitable truth.
Lights. Illuminating the small palm tree within 50 feet of me I had not previously been aware of, the beams scoured the area to my left. My heart throbbed against my ribs as if it refused to be contained. I had arrived. I collapsed to the ground as if my body had been holding out just long enough to see a glimpse of the destination.
I lay frozen on the mucky ground, for I knew not what else to do. My body seemed to have forgotten how to flinch, let alone crawl. I prayed. I prayed with more conviction than I had during the only four Masses I’d attended in my lifetime combined. I do not know to whom exactly I was praying. The universe, I guess. Or any being who promised hope. I suppose I prayed due to a lack of feasible alternatives.
I heard the crunch of tires on gravel. A door slammed shut. This was it. They would be here soon. My body convulsed in a fit of uncontrollable sobs. Perdóname, mi hijo. I managed to whisper, perdóname,,,
Monday, February 16, 2009
0047.
Things I Hate and/or Don't Understand.
1. Hard-back books. seriously. give me one good reason.
2. page requirements. I still hold to the saying my high school english teacher always said in response to the "how long does it have to be?" question: Like a girl's skirt: long enough to cover everything, but short enough to keep it interesting.
3. Times earlier than 10am.
To Be Continued...
In other news,
I am totally over this being-busy thing. I know there are you people out there who just live for the thrill of rushing from place to place, never having time to sit and watch Gilmore Girls...but I just don't roll that way.
I love down time.
I don't love every week being almost an exact replica of the previous one, then waking up on Monday and doing it all over again.
I did sign on for this, I guess. But whatever. Igbok. (Thanks, Fellowship)
I am currently avoiding BS-ing my way through the last page (of 3) of a paper on material for which i have only 1/4 a page of notes, and that the book only addresses for a grand total of 3 sentences. Like I told my classmate Courtney (who, by the way, feels my pain)...my paper is currently a random assortment of incoherent ramblings that may or may not actually answer the question. Whatever.
My weekend was chaos. But Valentine's and seeing my family was nice.
Our kitchen has recently transformed into a garden, but that's a story for another day.
Tomorrow is definitely a t-shirt day.
1. Hard-back books. seriously. give me one good reason.
2. page requirements. I still hold to the saying my high school english teacher always said in response to the "how long does it have to be?" question: Like a girl's skirt: long enough to cover everything, but short enough to keep it interesting.
3. Times earlier than 10am.
To Be Continued...
In other news,
I am totally over this being-busy thing. I know there are you people out there who just live for the thrill of rushing from place to place, never having time to sit and watch Gilmore Girls...but I just don't roll that way.
I love down time.
I don't love every week being almost an exact replica of the previous one, then waking up on Monday and doing it all over again.
I did sign on for this, I guess. But whatever. Igbok. (Thanks, Fellowship)
I am currently avoiding BS-ing my way through the last page (of 3) of a paper on material for which i have only 1/4 a page of notes, and that the book only addresses for a grand total of 3 sentences. Like I told my classmate Courtney (who, by the way, feels my pain)...my paper is currently a random assortment of incoherent ramblings that may or may not actually answer the question. Whatever.
My weekend was chaos. But Valentine's and seeing my family was nice.
Our kitchen has recently transformed into a garden, but that's a story for another day.
Tomorrow is definitely a t-shirt day.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
0046.
I'll do you a favor and not tag anyone! yay! now you're not obligated.
1. I like scarves.
2. I also like my red pea coat which now doesn't match any of my scarves.
3. I wish my life was a Disney musical. Preferably starring Zac Efron.
4. Nashville has become a 2nd home. finally.
5. I still like the backstreet boys. don't hate.
6. "Slow Dancing In A Burning Room" is my favorite John Mayer song.
7. Whenever I listen to "Mother We Just Can't Get Enough" by New Radicals, it makes me happy and takes me back to a simpler time. :)
8. I want Everwood and Boy Meets World post-6th-grade to come out on DVD. It makes me really mad at The Man that it hasn't happened.
9. I want to do something more with my life than just go to school or have a job. I don't want to ignore the poor and broken.
10. Sometimes I hate America. Then again, I feel blessed to live here. Then I feel bad for feeling blessed just because I have stuff. Then I wonder what life would be like if I were born in Africa instead. I'm lucky.
11. Apparently I like the kitchen to be relatively clean. Dirty dishes sitting in the sink or on the counter when there is a perfectly good dishwasher drives me crazy.
12. I should be reading for 3rd Year Writing.
13. I love to write, actually. Not music. That I am bad at. I think. But I love to do creative writing. I don't know where it comes from. I'm still proud of the satire I wrote in 11th grade.
14. I've never seen Titanic all the way through. You can gasp now.
15. I met the best friends I will ever have when I was in 1st grade.
16. I miss high school sometimes.
17. I wear my hair in side ponytails. Often.
18. I want to be at camp. If my heart were ever torn open (metaphorically of course), I would drive to Camp Glisson and just sit in the chapel. I think it would help.
19. I like word games a lot. And games in general. i.e. Taboo, Cranium, Mad Gab...
20. I think Bongo Java has better coffee than Starbucks. I dunno what it is about it.
21. I wish I had seen the Jonas Brothers in Pancake Pantry like Patrick did. I'd totally want to meet them. Seriously. Listen to "Burnin' Up" or "Play My Music" and try not to dance.
22. I want to be friends with Selena Gomez and/or Queen Latifah.
23. I tried to fight the song "Single Ladies," knowing full well I would later download it. And my chivalrous boyfriend bought it for me so I wouldn't have to actually cave. :-)
24. I am an INFJ. And the descriptions I wrote on my blog a while back are eerily accurate.
25. I like reading US Weekly and People. I don't know why.
1. I like scarves.
2. I also like my red pea coat which now doesn't match any of my scarves.
3. I wish my life was a Disney musical. Preferably starring Zac Efron.
4. Nashville has become a 2nd home. finally.
5. I still like the backstreet boys. don't hate.
6. "Slow Dancing In A Burning Room" is my favorite John Mayer song.
7. Whenever I listen to "Mother We Just Can't Get Enough" by New Radicals, it makes me happy and takes me back to a simpler time. :)
8. I want Everwood and Boy Meets World post-6th-grade to come out on DVD. It makes me really mad at The Man that it hasn't happened.
9. I want to do something more with my life than just go to school or have a job. I don't want to ignore the poor and broken.
10. Sometimes I hate America. Then again, I feel blessed to live here. Then I feel bad for feeling blessed just because I have stuff. Then I wonder what life would be like if I were born in Africa instead. I'm lucky.
11. Apparently I like the kitchen to be relatively clean. Dirty dishes sitting in the sink or on the counter when there is a perfectly good dishwasher drives me crazy.
12. I should be reading for 3rd Year Writing.
13. I love to write, actually. Not music. That I am bad at. I think. But I love to do creative writing. I don't know where it comes from. I'm still proud of the satire I wrote in 11th grade.
14. I've never seen Titanic all the way through. You can gasp now.
15. I met the best friends I will ever have when I was in 1st grade.
16. I miss high school sometimes.
17. I wear my hair in side ponytails. Often.
18. I want to be at camp. If my heart were ever torn open (metaphorically of course), I would drive to Camp Glisson and just sit in the chapel. I think it would help.
19. I like word games a lot. And games in general. i.e. Taboo, Cranium, Mad Gab...
20. I think Bongo Java has better coffee than Starbucks. I dunno what it is about it.
21. I wish I had seen the Jonas Brothers in Pancake Pantry like Patrick did. I'd totally want to meet them. Seriously. Listen to "Burnin' Up" or "Play My Music" and try not to dance.
22. I want to be friends with Selena Gomez and/or Queen Latifah.
23. I tried to fight the song "Single Ladies," knowing full well I would later download it. And my chivalrous boyfriend bought it for me so I wouldn't have to actually cave. :-)
24. I am an INFJ. And the descriptions I wrote on my blog a while back are eerily accurate.
25. I like reading US Weekly and People. I don't know why.
Monday, January 26, 2009
0045.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obhdTlImFBo&feature=channel_page
I love the song "You Found Me" by the Fray.
I can't quite nail down my reasoning behind it, but I am about to attempt to convey my feelings towards the song.
I love that the lyrics seem to be raw. I love that you can clearly hear the yearning in his heart.
I don't know what the intended meaning behind the song is, but this is what I gather.
I love that he depicts God as a guy he finds on the corner, smoking his last cigarette. Now, I know this is not typical nor Biblical, but I love it because I think it is, in a way, poetic and expressive. I don't think God could ever be portrayed on the same level as us average joes and be remotely accurate, but I don't think this song is about accuracy. I think it is simply expression of a pained heart.
I feel like I can really experience the indignance (is that the noun form?) in his voice as he sings: "Where were you when everything was falling apart??"
I think we can all relate to the lines, "Why'd you have to wait?" and "Just a little late...you found me." God's timing almost never lines up with our timing. I know that God is never late, but I think straight up accusing Him by saying He was "just a little late" is representative of what we would sometimes say to God if we felt like it was "okay."
The bridge is a climactic culmination of the genuine frustration he is heaving upon God in a rant, and i love how real he is being with God:
"I've been calling for years and years and years and years and you never left me no messages! Never sent me no letters. You got some kind of nerve taking all I want!"
I know this is not a praise song. And I know that playing this song on Christian radio is not exactly conventional. But this is, to me, a prime example of how we can hear the brokenness and hurt in humanity crying out for Jesus. Yearning for comfort.
I wrote a post a while back about a Linkin Park show I saw (note: I was there to see Coheed & Cambria.), and how I could sense the longing in the room both from the band and the crowd as they all sung out "Amen, amen..."
This song gives me the same feeling. I think it's beautiful in that we see a person being completely transparent and real with God. He is not playing any games. He is not observing any decorum we Christians sometimes think we have to uphold in front of others, God, or even ourselves.
[Plus, it helps that The Fray are all-stars at melodious pop-rock.
I have had the privilege of listening to an advance copy of their new album, and it is fantastic. (Februrary 3rd, guys.)]
I love the song "You Found Me" by the Fray.
I can't quite nail down my reasoning behind it, but I am about to attempt to convey my feelings towards the song.
I love that the lyrics seem to be raw. I love that you can clearly hear the yearning in his heart.
I don't know what the intended meaning behind the song is, but this is what I gather.
I love that he depicts God as a guy he finds on the corner, smoking his last cigarette. Now, I know this is not typical nor Biblical, but I love it because I think it is, in a way, poetic and expressive. I don't think God could ever be portrayed on the same level as us average joes and be remotely accurate, but I don't think this song is about accuracy. I think it is simply expression of a pained heart.
I feel like I can really experience the indignance (is that the noun form?) in his voice as he sings: "Where were you when everything was falling apart??"
I think we can all relate to the lines, "Why'd you have to wait?" and "Just a little late...you found me." God's timing almost never lines up with our timing. I know that God is never late, but I think straight up accusing Him by saying He was "just a little late" is representative of what we would sometimes say to God if we felt like it was "okay."
The bridge is a climactic culmination of the genuine frustration he is heaving upon God in a rant, and i love how real he is being with God:
"I've been calling for years and years and years and years and you never left me no messages! Never sent me no letters. You got some kind of nerve taking all I want!"
I know this is not a praise song. And I know that playing this song on Christian radio is not exactly conventional. But this is, to me, a prime example of how we can hear the brokenness and hurt in humanity crying out for Jesus. Yearning for comfort.
I wrote a post a while back about a Linkin Park show I saw (note: I was there to see Coheed & Cambria.), and how I could sense the longing in the room both from the band and the crowd as they all sung out "Amen, amen..."
This song gives me the same feeling. I think it's beautiful in that we see a person being completely transparent and real with God. He is not playing any games. He is not observing any decorum we Christians sometimes think we have to uphold in front of others, God, or even ourselves.
[Plus, it helps that The Fray are all-stars at melodious pop-rock.
I have had the privilege of listening to an advance copy of their new album, and it is fantastic. (Februrary 3rd, guys.)]
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
0044.
Things the Valley Should Have to Relieve Boredom:
1. A park full of inflatable slides and/or obstacle courses.
2. A dollar movie theater.
3. Concerts.
4. More than 4 restaurants.
5. Somewhere we could have a dance party.
6. Celebrities.
7. A beach.
8. The Jonas Brothers.
9. A Rockband tournament.
10. A waterfall.
11. A coffee shop. WIth or without karaoke.
12. A giant trampoline.
That's all I can think of right now. Feel free to add on.
1. A park full of inflatable slides and/or obstacle courses.
2. A dollar movie theater.
3. Concerts.
4. More than 4 restaurants.
5. Somewhere we could have a dance party.
6. Celebrities.
7. A beach.
8. The Jonas Brothers.
9. A Rockband tournament.
10. A waterfall.
11. A coffee shop. WIth or without karaoke.
12. A giant trampoline.
That's all I can think of right now. Feel free to add on.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
0043.
A story spawned from boredom.
I sit. I stare. That is all I seem to ever do, lately. I rock back and forth in my weathered wicker chair. Knitting seems less than appealing. Maybe I'll rekindle the fire. It's still burning bright. I feel like it's been hours since I lit it. I sigh and look around at the familiar living room. The grandfather clock in the corner mocks me. It is only 6:30. There is too much time left in the day. I've exhausted all my options. I've cooked. I've cleaned. Nothing left now but to be haunted by my thoughts yet again...
The furious pounding on the door frightened me, I remember. I flung my utensils in the air and had to brace myself with the kitchen table to avoid what could've been a serious back injury. "KATHERINE!!" My breath became short and my heart began to beat like a tribal drum. My brother only says my name like that in times of great distress. The pounding continued. I raced to the old wooden door and fumbled with the latch. The door flung open and knocked me to my feet.
"Katherine! Get out. We have to go. He's--He's on a rampage!"
My stomach churned. I knew who he meant, but in an attempt to comfort my mind, I managed to squeak out, "Who?"
Without so much as a blink to acknowledge my query, he seized my arm and dragged me into the relentless rain. The thunder cracked, immediately followed by a flash of lightning.
"There's no time!" he yelled.
"Where are we going??" I shouted back.
He simply kept repeating, "There's no time...there's no time!"
He flung me into the back of a wagon drawn by frightened horses, black as the night sky.
"Listen to me. He will be here soon. There is no way he would leave this town without you. Ride until you come to Roulesburg. Thomas will meet you there; he's gone ahead."
"But--where--I mean, aren't you coming?"
"Constable Livingston has asked me to stay and keep watch. Do not be afraid. I will see you soon."
Footsteps grinding against the gravel grew louder by the second. He was almost here.
"GO!" Samuel yelled.
"But--"
"GO." I had never seen his face so stern.
"KATHERINE." a voice growled from behind my brother. Samuel turned slowly to face him as he whispered, "Please. Just go."
My eyes locked on those of my pursuer. Just as I had remembered, but darker. Filled with fire and passionate anger.
My heart sunk as my stomach lurched simultaneously.
He was no longer the love of my youth. Innocent. Free. He was a monster.
In an instant my mind flashed to 3 summers ago. He was wild and outgoing. Kind, yet misunderstood. Since the day he arrived in our town, he was virtually shunned by all. My parents were no different. We were therefore made to see one another in secret, until Father Connelly saw us together. They accused him of horrid things. Kidnapping. Theft. Rape. He tried to reason with the judge. They did not listen. They arrested him, ridiculed him, and ran him out of town.
He tried to come back for me. They beat him, laughed, and told no one. I saw and no one listened to me. I wept every day for two years.
And now, here we are. Has his love and indignant rage become so powerful that it has taken over his sanity? What has he done?
But there he was. My love for whom I had waited to return. I wanted to run into his arms and look into his dark eyes. Somehow they still comforted me. No. He was not my Graham anymore. He was a terror.
My brother had dashed to the horses, commanding them to take off. "Take the reins, Katherine! Now!"
My eyes were still locked on Graham's as they grew farther and farther away and faded into the darkness. I forced myself to turn around and grab the reins. Tears poured from my eyes, blurring my vision. I lifted my sleeve to my eyes and blotted the moisture away...
I sit. I stare, as tears well up in my eyes as they have every night for 20 years. I won't let them tell me what happened to him. I prefer to imagine that he is well. As am I.
I sit. I stare. That is all I seem to ever do, lately. I rock back and forth in my weathered wicker chair. Knitting seems less than appealing. Maybe I'll rekindle the fire. It's still burning bright. I feel like it's been hours since I lit it. I sigh and look around at the familiar living room. The grandfather clock in the corner mocks me. It is only 6:30. There is too much time left in the day. I've exhausted all my options. I've cooked. I've cleaned. Nothing left now but to be haunted by my thoughts yet again...
The furious pounding on the door frightened me, I remember. I flung my utensils in the air and had to brace myself with the kitchen table to avoid what could've been a serious back injury. "KATHERINE!!" My breath became short and my heart began to beat like a tribal drum. My brother only says my name like that in times of great distress. The pounding continued. I raced to the old wooden door and fumbled with the latch. The door flung open and knocked me to my feet.
"Katherine! Get out. We have to go. He's--He's on a rampage!"
My stomach churned. I knew who he meant, but in an attempt to comfort my mind, I managed to squeak out, "Who?"
Without so much as a blink to acknowledge my query, he seized my arm and dragged me into the relentless rain. The thunder cracked, immediately followed by a flash of lightning.
"There's no time!" he yelled.
"Where are we going??" I shouted back.
He simply kept repeating, "There's no time...there's no time!"
He flung me into the back of a wagon drawn by frightened horses, black as the night sky.
"Listen to me. He will be here soon. There is no way he would leave this town without you. Ride until you come to Roulesburg. Thomas will meet you there; he's gone ahead."
"But--where--I mean, aren't you coming?"
"Constable Livingston has asked me to stay and keep watch. Do not be afraid. I will see you soon."
Footsteps grinding against the gravel grew louder by the second. He was almost here.
"GO!" Samuel yelled.
"But--"
"GO." I had never seen his face so stern.
"KATHERINE." a voice growled from behind my brother. Samuel turned slowly to face him as he whispered, "Please. Just go."
My eyes locked on those of my pursuer. Just as I had remembered, but darker. Filled with fire and passionate anger.
My heart sunk as my stomach lurched simultaneously.
He was no longer the love of my youth. Innocent. Free. He was a monster.
In an instant my mind flashed to 3 summers ago. He was wild and outgoing. Kind, yet misunderstood. Since the day he arrived in our town, he was virtually shunned by all. My parents were no different. We were therefore made to see one another in secret, until Father Connelly saw us together. They accused him of horrid things. Kidnapping. Theft. Rape. He tried to reason with the judge. They did not listen. They arrested him, ridiculed him, and ran him out of town.
He tried to come back for me. They beat him, laughed, and told no one. I saw and no one listened to me. I wept every day for two years.
And now, here we are. Has his love and indignant rage become so powerful that it has taken over his sanity? What has he done?
But there he was. My love for whom I had waited to return. I wanted to run into his arms and look into his dark eyes. Somehow they still comforted me. No. He was not my Graham anymore. He was a terror.
My brother had dashed to the horses, commanding them to take off. "Take the reins, Katherine! Now!"
My eyes were still locked on Graham's as they grew farther and farther away and faded into the darkness. I forced myself to turn around and grab the reins. Tears poured from my eyes, blurring my vision. I lifted my sleeve to my eyes and blotted the moisture away...
I sit. I stare, as tears well up in my eyes as they have every night for 20 years. I won't let them tell me what happened to him. I prefer to imagine that he is well. As am I.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
0042.
this blog is also late. i was pretty busy around actual new years day, so January 4th will have to do.
2008.
It's really hard for me to reflect all the way back to January of last year, so I'm using my journal to assist me.
I started actually attempting to work out on a semi-regular basis this year. really. It all started when Dave Ramsey spoke at our church (go figure, he goes to Fellowship too) in January and talked about this metaphorical pie chart of life. 6 different areas of your life you can serve God by being intentional in (i.e. family, intellectual, physical, spiritual, career, social...) so I was like, okay. I'm gonna do this. I am going to work out more often because I want to be healthy in order to serve God better. It's much easier when you do something for a higher purpose than just out of guilt or shame from eating 4 cookies.
I turned 20. I am a score old. I don't know how this happened. I don't think I want to grow up yet.
I came to an epiphany. All throughout junior high & high school, I focused my life on staying away from "bad" things. I didn't smoke. I didn't drink. And I avoided anyone who did so. Now, I don't really judge myself for that because it was what I thought was right at the time. But I now know that I wasted so much time NOT doing things. NOT drinking. NOT hanging out with nonchristians, that I never got to know those people. I never had time to love them. I have since tried to refocus my life on DOING things. Acting on what I believe to be true. It is not enough to merely live in a Christian bubble. I must help mend the broken hearts and love those who cannot love me back.
This epiphany can be attributed in part to a book called The Irresistable Revolution by Shane Claiborne. My friend Jenny gave it to me for my birthday and it shifted my perspective on life. It was frustrating but amazing at the same time.
I went to Peru. It was great, but I wish I had formed more relationships with the people there. Hopefully I can go back some time. And I got to use my Spanish, which I loved.
I've gotten closer to a few of my girl friends in Nashville, which I really needed. :)
And I've realized that no one could ever come close to replacing my best friends in the Valley. Talking to them until 4:30am proves that.
Coheed melted my face off at the Sommet Center.
I saw Hootie and the Blowfish in concert. Too bad Darius Rucker thinks he's country now.
I gained a newfound appreciation for Rihanna.
I went to a rally against wiping out Tent City in Nashville and became more aware of homelessness in our city.
I think my sociology class and shane claiborne made me become an activist.
Debate 08 owned my life for two and a half months.
I got an internship at INO Records. (see: Derek Webb, Sara Groves, and currently The Fray)
Derek Webb's lyrics spoke to my soul.
Sean McConnell reinforced the fact that he owns songwriting (at least in my heart).
I became a member of Fellowship Bible Church and feel more at home at Inversion via the Peru trip & getting to sing in the worship band sometimes.
I realized that there's no such thing as a "cute" overload when you're watching Jon & Kate plus 8. :)
I experienced JUST how humid Baton Rouge, Louisiana REALLY is in July.
I got to hang out with my brother a lot more, which was cool.
We FINALLY went camping!
My 8th grade crush, nay, "future husband" got married.
I missed camp.
One of my childhood bffs got married. weird.
I became the bomb at racquetball.
I actually watched the olympics.
I tried to get to know people better and/or meet people.
I started working with the youth at my church. They're fun.
I went to NYC with my family, family friends, and craig. :) It was so fun.
I survived a gas shortage.
I crawled through a mud pit obstacle course with ninth graders in 40 degree weather.
I have still successfully avoided Ugg boots.
2008.
It's really hard for me to reflect all the way back to January of last year, so I'm using my journal to assist me.
I started actually attempting to work out on a semi-regular basis this year. really. It all started when Dave Ramsey spoke at our church (go figure, he goes to Fellowship too) in January and talked about this metaphorical pie chart of life. 6 different areas of your life you can serve God by being intentional in (i.e. family, intellectual, physical, spiritual, career, social...) so I was like, okay. I'm gonna do this. I am going to work out more often because I want to be healthy in order to serve God better. It's much easier when you do something for a higher purpose than just out of guilt or shame from eating 4 cookies.
I turned 20. I am a score old. I don't know how this happened. I don't think I want to grow up yet.
I came to an epiphany. All throughout junior high & high school, I focused my life on staying away from "bad" things. I didn't smoke. I didn't drink. And I avoided anyone who did so. Now, I don't really judge myself for that because it was what I thought was right at the time. But I now know that I wasted so much time NOT doing things. NOT drinking. NOT hanging out with nonchristians, that I never got to know those people. I never had time to love them. I have since tried to refocus my life on DOING things. Acting on what I believe to be true. It is not enough to merely live in a Christian bubble. I must help mend the broken hearts and love those who cannot love me back.
This epiphany can be attributed in part to a book called The Irresistable Revolution by Shane Claiborne. My friend Jenny gave it to me for my birthday and it shifted my perspective on life. It was frustrating but amazing at the same time.
I went to Peru. It was great, but I wish I had formed more relationships with the people there. Hopefully I can go back some time. And I got to use my Spanish, which I loved.
I've gotten closer to a few of my girl friends in Nashville, which I really needed. :)
And I've realized that no one could ever come close to replacing my best friends in the Valley. Talking to them until 4:30am proves that.
Coheed melted my face off at the Sommet Center.
I saw Hootie and the Blowfish in concert. Too bad Darius Rucker thinks he's country now.
I gained a newfound appreciation for Rihanna.
I went to a rally against wiping out Tent City in Nashville and became more aware of homelessness in our city.
I think my sociology class and shane claiborne made me become an activist.
Debate 08 owned my life for two and a half months.
I got an internship at INO Records. (see: Derek Webb, Sara Groves, and currently The Fray)
Derek Webb's lyrics spoke to my soul.
Sean McConnell reinforced the fact that he owns songwriting (at least in my heart).
I became a member of Fellowship Bible Church and feel more at home at Inversion via the Peru trip & getting to sing in the worship band sometimes.
I realized that there's no such thing as a "cute" overload when you're watching Jon & Kate plus 8. :)
I experienced JUST how humid Baton Rouge, Louisiana REALLY is in July.
I got to hang out with my brother a lot more, which was cool.
We FINALLY went camping!
My 8th grade crush, nay, "future husband" got married.
I missed camp.
One of my childhood bffs got married. weird.
I became the bomb at racquetball.
I actually watched the olympics.
I tried to get to know people better and/or meet people.
I started working with the youth at my church. They're fun.
I went to NYC with my family, family friends, and craig. :) It was so fun.
I survived a gas shortage.
I crawled through a mud pit obstacle course with ninth graders in 40 degree weather.
I have still successfully avoided Ugg boots.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
