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Three Things I Learned From My High School English Teacher, Mr. Freeman:


1. Paper Length: "Like a girl's skirt: long enough to cover everything, but short enough to keep it interesting."

I like this guideline, and I think more college professors would do well to fall in line. Page requirements are silly and lead to a lot of B.S. on the last page or so, and who needs that?

2. The Proper Working Definition of an Allegory: "A tale in verse or prose in which the characters, actions, settings, or events represent abstract ideas or moral qualities."

I don't know how this will help me in life. But it fits the category. Maybe one day I will be on the sidelines of a fierce sword fight filled with witty banter [see: The Princess Bride], and one will challenge the other: I will spare your life if you answer me this--what is the proper working definition of an allegory? And I will feel it coming--my moment. As the man blocks a hit from the incoming sword and fights to push it away, he exclaims in anguish, "DOES ANYONE KNOW THE PROPER WORKING DEFINITION OF AN ALLEGORY?"
And I, calm and confident, will step forward as everyone stares & gasps and say, "I do, dear sir. I do."

Or maybe it will just never help me in life.

3. Denim dockers are not the same as jeans.

One day, as a result of one of our classmates unknowingly falling into a trap of colleague vs. colleague, he pointed out, in jest, that Mr. Freeman was wearing "jeans," which, at ole' Springwood, was a no-no. This was all in good fun until three weeks later when we got a 5 page paper detailing what the word "jeans" entails, and that Denim Dockers were no such item. We had never been so afraid in our lives.


So there you have it. One more installment of "Three Things..."

Maybe I'll do a Christmassy one next. I like this. It gives me focus. :)