0030.

"Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.
I say to the Lord, "You are my Lord;
I have no good apart from You."
Psalm 16:1-2


I remember stumbling up the grey cement steps that day. I took them slowly, placing both feet on one before moving to the next. Someone, a big someone, brushed past me in a frenzy, knocking me down to my knees on account of my already unstable legs. The impact of some loose gravel stung in my right palm. I winced, and fought back unnecessary tears. I wanted to turn around and go home. No, I wanted to curl up in a ball and have no one notice me. Seeing as that was unlikely, I put my weight on my left hand and managed to stand, brushing off my dress. My worn book laid spread out on the step.
I sighed and bent to pick it up. My safe haven. I'd read it several times, but I brought it with me to hide my face behind during lunch.
I took a deep breath and braved the last two steps. I peered around my shoulder at the surrounding crowd of teenagers. None of them looked friendly. I stood out, obviously. None of them were wearing dresses. I knew that would happen. My russet skin and long, dark, silky hair gave me away. Wisconsin? Really?
When I found out I was going to get to go to the States for a semester, I was thinking New York. Los Angeles. Chicago. Somewhere exciting! Not a small town, filled with blue-eyed judgement.

Turning back around, I peered up at the purple lettering on the face of the building. Trinity Christian Academy. I let out breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding. Christian. These people were Christians. That wasn't something I was used to, but I'd always known He was real. Maybe it won't be so bad.

I shuffled into the building through double glass doors. Immediately my head started spinning. It was as if I had stepped into an arena filled with 20,000 people. The level of noise with the combined laughing, talking, yelling across the hall...it was almost deafening. I spun around 180 degrees. Then back again. Where was I going again? Biological...something...I needed to work on my English.

"Hi! Can I help you find something?"
I turned my head to the right to see a perky blonde, blue eyed girl donning a t-shirt detailing something resembling a Coca-Cola logo. I squinted and recognized the English "Christ" in there somewhere. I chuckled on the inside a little bit.
"Um..." I managed to mutter. Her enthusiasm was hard to ignore. I tried to translate in my head.
"I am...looking...for this?" I showed her my schedule, pointing at the first class. This language-barrier thing is no joke.

"Sure!" she exclaimed. "I'm going there too!"
Just as I was attempting to inwardly translate, she yanked my arm and I was moving along with the current of people in the hallway.
We got to Biological...something-or-other right as an obnoxious bell sounded across campus. The silence was now deafening. That would take some getting used to.
People stared at me. That was to be expected, I guess. Judging from my experience on the steps earlier. Their eyes were piercing, actually. I wondered what I did to deserve such treatment.
Even perky girl smiled and turned to her friend, brown-haired perky girl and whispered. I rolled my eyes. This is why I don't claim to be a "Christian." Who wants that kind of hypocrisy hanging over your head?

I didn't really understand anything the teacher said for the following 47 minutes, so I started rummaging through the desk I sat in. I found a chewed-on pencil. Some wadded up paper. 3 coins--who knows what they were worth. Exchange rate and all. But something caught my eye.
It was a small, and purple. A business card, or something. I slid it out from under a couple wads of paper and tried to read it. "Preserve." Okay. Preserve. The first word is preserve. What did that mean again? Ugh.
Then, underneath, I noticed a translation. Spanish! Yes!
"Preserve me, O God, for in You I take refuge. I say to the Lord, You are my God. I have no good apart from you."

Whoa. Whoever left that there was seriously into the religion thing. Oh right--"Christian" school. Hm. But something about it made me think. Preserve me. PRESERVE me. Maybe it was more than the t-shirt wearing perk. I didn't need t-shirts or perk. The statement had such weight. NO good apart from God? Really? Huh. I think I'll look into this.