Saturday, January 31, 2009

0046.

I'll do you a favor and not tag anyone! yay! now you're not obligated.


1. I like scarves.

2. I also like my red pea coat which now doesn't match any of my scarves.

3. I wish my life was a Disney musical. Preferably starring Zac Efron.

4. Nashville has become a 2nd home. finally.

5. I still like the backstreet boys. don't hate.

6. "Slow Dancing In A Burning Room" is my favorite John Mayer song.

7. Whenever I listen to "Mother We Just Can't Get Enough" by New Radicals, it makes me happy and takes me back to a simpler time. :)

8. I want Everwood and Boy Meets World post-6th-grade to come out on DVD. It makes me really mad at The Man that it hasn't happened.

9. I want to do something more with my life than just go to school or have a job. I don't want to ignore the poor and broken.

10. Sometimes I hate America. Then again, I feel blessed to live here. Then I feel bad for feeling blessed just because I have stuff. Then I wonder what life would be like if I were born in Africa instead. I'm lucky.

11. Apparently I like the kitchen to be relatively clean. Dirty dishes sitting in the sink or on the counter when there is a perfectly good dishwasher drives me crazy.

12. I should be reading for 3rd Year Writing.

13. I love to write, actually. Not music. That I am bad at. I think. But I love to do creative writing. I don't know where it comes from. I'm still proud of the satire I wrote in 11th grade.

14. I've never seen Titanic all the way through. You can gasp now.

15. I met the best friends I will ever have when I was in 1st grade.

16. I miss high school sometimes.

17. I wear my hair in side ponytails. Often.

18. I want to be at camp. If my heart were ever torn open (metaphorically of course), I would drive to Camp Glisson and just sit in the chapel. I think it would help.

19. I like word games a lot. And games in general. i.e. Taboo, Cranium, Mad Gab...

20. I think Bongo Java has better coffee than Starbucks. I dunno what it is about it.

21. I wish I had seen the Jonas Brothers in Pancake Pantry like Patrick did. I'd totally want to meet them. Seriously. Listen to "Burnin' Up" or "Play My Music" and try not to dance.

22. I want to be friends with Selena Gomez and/or Queen Latifah.

23. I tried to fight the song "Single Ladies," knowing full well I would later download it. And my chivalrous boyfriend bought it for me so I wouldn't have to actually cave. :-)

24. I am an INFJ. And the descriptions I wrote on my blog a while back are eerily accurate.

25. I like reading US Weekly and People. I don't know why.

Monday, January 26, 2009

0045.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obhdTlImFBo&feature=channel_page

I love the song "You Found Me" by the Fray.

I can't quite nail down my reasoning behind it, but I am about to attempt to convey my feelings towards the song.

I love that the lyrics seem to be raw. I love that you can clearly hear the yearning in his heart.
I don't know what the intended meaning behind the song is, but this is what I gather.

I love that he depicts God as a guy he finds on the corner, smoking his last cigarette. Now, I know this is not typical nor Biblical, but I love it because I think it is, in a way, poetic and expressive. I don't think God could ever be portrayed on the same level as us average joes and be remotely accurate, but I don't think this song is about accuracy. I think it is simply expression of a pained heart.

I feel like I can really experience the indignance (is that the noun form?) in his voice as he sings: "Where were you when everything was falling apart??"

I think we can all relate to the lines, "Why'd you have to wait?" and "Just a little late...you found me." God's timing almost never lines up with our timing. I know that God is never late, but I think straight up accusing Him by saying He was "just a little late" is representative of what we would sometimes say to God if we felt like it was "okay."
The bridge is a climactic culmination of the genuine frustration he is heaving upon God in a rant, and i love how real he is being with God:

"I've been calling for years and years and years and years and you never left me no messages! Never sent me no letters. You got some kind of nerve taking all I want!"

I know this is not a praise song. And I know that playing this song on Christian radio is not exactly conventional. But this is, to me, a prime example of how we can hear the brokenness and hurt in humanity crying out for Jesus. Yearning for comfort.

I wrote a post a while back about a Linkin Park show I saw (note: I was there to see Coheed & Cambria.), and how I could sense the longing in the room both from the band and the crowd as they all sung out "Amen, amen..."

This song gives me the same feeling. I think it's beautiful in that we see a person being completely transparent and real with God. He is not playing any games. He is not observing any decorum we Christians sometimes think we have to uphold in front of others, God, or even ourselves.

[Plus, it helps that The Fray are all-stars at melodious pop-rock.
I have had the privilege of listening to an advance copy of their new album, and it is fantastic. (Februrary 3rd, guys.)]

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

0044.

Things the Valley Should Have to Relieve Boredom:

1. A park full of inflatable slides and/or obstacle courses.

2. A dollar movie theater.

3. Concerts.

4. More than 4 restaurants.

5. Somewhere we could have a dance party.

6. Celebrities.

7. A beach.

8. The Jonas Brothers.

9. A Rockband tournament.

10. A waterfall.

11. A coffee shop. WIth or without karaoke.

12. A giant trampoline.

That's all I can think of right now. Feel free to add on.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

0043.

A story spawned from boredom.


I sit. I stare. That is all I seem to ever do, lately. I rock back and forth in my weathered wicker chair. Knitting seems less than appealing. Maybe I'll rekindle the fire. It's still burning bright. I feel like it's been hours since I lit it. I sigh and look around at the familiar living room. The grandfather clock in the corner mocks me. It is only 6:30. There is too much time left in the day. I've exhausted all my options. I've cooked. I've cleaned. Nothing left now but to be haunted by my thoughts yet again...

The furious pounding on the door frightened me, I remember. I flung my utensils in the air and had to brace myself with the kitchen table to avoid what could've been a serious back injury. "KATHERINE!!" My breath became short and my heart began to beat like a tribal drum. My brother only says my name like that in times of great distress. The pounding continued. I raced to the old wooden door and fumbled with the latch. The door flung open and knocked me to my feet.

"Katherine! Get out. We have to go. He's--He's on a rampage!"

My stomach churned. I knew who he meant, but in an attempt to comfort my mind, I managed to squeak out, "Who?"

Without so much as a blink to acknowledge my query, he seized my arm and dragged me into the relentless rain. The thunder cracked, immediately followed by a flash of lightning.

"There's no time!" he yelled.
"Where are we going??" I shouted back.

He simply kept repeating, "There's no time...there's no time!"

He flung me into the back of a wagon drawn by frightened horses, black as the night sky.
"Listen to me. He will be here soon. There is no way he would leave this town without you. Ride until you come to Roulesburg. Thomas will meet you there; he's gone ahead."

"But--where--I mean, aren't you coming?"

"Constable Livingston has asked me to stay and keep watch. Do not be afraid. I will see you soon."

Footsteps grinding against the gravel grew louder by the second. He was almost here.

"GO!" Samuel yelled.

"But--"

"GO." I had never seen his face so stern.

"KATHERINE." a voice growled from behind my brother. Samuel turned slowly to face him as he whispered, "Please. Just go."

My eyes locked on those of my pursuer. Just as I had remembered, but darker. Filled with fire and passionate anger.
My heart sunk as my stomach lurched simultaneously.
He was no longer the love of my youth. Innocent. Free. He was a monster.

In an instant my mind flashed to 3 summers ago. He was wild and outgoing. Kind, yet misunderstood. Since the day he arrived in our town, he was virtually shunned by all. My parents were no different. We were therefore made to see one another in secret, until Father Connelly saw us together. They accused him of horrid things. Kidnapping. Theft. Rape. He tried to reason with the judge. They did not listen. They arrested him, ridiculed him, and ran him out of town.
He tried to come back for me. They beat him, laughed, and told no one. I saw and no one listened to me. I wept every day for two years.

And now, here we are. Has his love and indignant rage become so powerful that it has taken over his sanity? What has he done?

But there he was. My love for whom I had waited to return. I wanted to run into his arms and look into his dark eyes. Somehow they still comforted me. No. He was not my Graham anymore. He was a terror.

My brother had dashed to the horses, commanding them to take off. "Take the reins, Katherine! Now!"

My eyes were still locked on Graham's as they grew farther and farther away and faded into the darkness. I forced myself to turn around and grab the reins. Tears poured from my eyes, blurring my vision. I lifted my sleeve to my eyes and blotted the moisture away...

I sit. I stare, as tears well up in my eyes as they have every night for 20 years. I won't let them tell me what happened to him. I prefer to imagine that he is well. As am I.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

0042.

this blog is also late. i was pretty busy around actual new years day, so January 4th will have to do.


2008.
It's really hard for me to reflect all the way back to January of last year, so I'm using my journal to assist me.

I started actually attempting to work out on a semi-regular basis this year. really. It all started when Dave Ramsey spoke at our church (go figure, he goes to Fellowship too) in January and talked about this metaphorical pie chart of life. 6 different areas of your life you can serve God by being intentional in (i.e. family, intellectual, physical, spiritual, career, social...) so I was like, okay. I'm gonna do this. I am going to work out more often because I want to be healthy in order to serve God better. It's much easier when you do something for a higher purpose than just out of guilt or shame from eating 4 cookies.


I turned 20. I am a score old. I don't know how this happened. I don't think I want to grow up yet.

I came to an epiphany. All throughout junior high & high school, I focused my life on staying away from "bad" things. I didn't smoke. I didn't drink. And I avoided anyone who did so. Now, I don't really judge myself for that because it was what I thought was right at the time. But I now know that I wasted so much time NOT doing things. NOT drinking. NOT hanging out with nonchristians, that I never got to know those people. I never had time to love them. I have since tried to refocus my life on DOING things. Acting on what I believe to be true. It is not enough to merely live in a Christian bubble. I must help mend the broken hearts and love those who cannot love me back.

This epiphany can be attributed in part to a book called The Irresistable Revolution by Shane Claiborne. My friend Jenny gave it to me for my birthday and it shifted my perspective on life. It was frustrating but amazing at the same time.

I went to Peru. It was great, but I wish I had formed more relationships with the people there. Hopefully I can go back some time. And I got to use my Spanish, which I loved.

I've gotten closer to a few of my girl friends in Nashville, which I really needed. :)

And I've realized that no one could ever come close to replacing my best friends in the Valley. Talking to them until 4:30am proves that.

Coheed melted my face off at the Sommet Center.

I saw Hootie and the Blowfish in concert. Too bad Darius Rucker thinks he's country now.

I gained a newfound appreciation for Rihanna.

I went to a rally against wiping out Tent City in Nashville and became more aware of homelessness in our city.

I think my sociology class and shane claiborne made me become an activist.

Debate 08 owned my life for two and a half months.

I got an internship at INO Records. (see: Derek Webb, Sara Groves, and currently The Fray)

Derek Webb's lyrics spoke to my soul.

Sean McConnell reinforced the fact that he owns songwriting (at least in my heart).

I became a member of Fellowship Bible Church and feel more at home at Inversion via the Peru trip & getting to sing in the worship band sometimes.

I realized that there's no such thing as a "cute" overload when you're watching Jon & Kate plus 8. :)

I experienced JUST how humid Baton Rouge, Louisiana REALLY is in July.

I got to hang out with my brother a lot more, which was cool.

We FINALLY went camping!

My 8th grade crush, nay, "future husband" got married.

I missed camp.

One of my childhood bffs got married. weird.

I became the bomb at racquetball.

I actually watched the olympics.

I tried to get to know people better and/or meet people.

I started working with the youth at my church. They're fun.

I went to NYC with my family, family friends, and craig. :) It was so fun.

I survived a gas shortage.

I crawled through a mud pit obstacle course with ninth graders in 40 degree weather.

I have still successfully avoided Ugg boots.